It’s hot. And I’m not happy.

Some…person…from the house opposite (well, not quite opposite, but never mind) is insisting on playing the worst dance music imaginable at ridiculous volumes, thus disturbing my sweaty peace (as opposed to my sweaty piece, which is probably disturbing in itself).

Now, as the kindly neighbour I am, I chose not to complain. Yes, I let him (I assume he’s male) continue to deafen me, until his parents arrive home for lunch, and the “music” is stopped. Happy is me.

Then, predictably, the music starts up again, louder, in the afternoon. I become somewhat less calm and kindly, preferring instead to retaliate. So I find a copy of Jeff Wayne’s War of the Worlds, and play it as loudly as I can. So he turns his music up. So I give up. I hope you weren’t expecting some exciting triumphant finalé to that anecdote, because you’re not going to get one. If anyone has any suggestions for when the battle inevitably resumes tomorrow, please comment.

With reference to Homebase fans …I personally reduced most of the bigger ones to £14.99 on Saturday, which is quite impressive considering they started at £39.99. So that means they’re only really £11.99 with Staff Discount – that’s £28 off! I’ll finish this post before I turn into www.qvcuk.com.

Just to let you know, I have spell checked this post. For once. And I do know that there is some kind of tense mish-mash at the beginning. I’m choosing to ignore it rather than correct it. Do you speak English?

It’s just occurred to me that I never use the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button on Google. Is this a sign of deep psychological scarring of some sort?

I’ll end with the suitably cheery quote that got Michael Savage fired last week: “You should only get AIDS and die, you pig”. Have a nice hot day.

PS – This is about the fiftieth time I’ve reposted this now (no exaggeration, only hyperbole), mainly because of Fat Tony’s general inefficiency and presumptuousness. It’s not even hot any more.

Originally posted on The LBSC