The Round-Up seems to be having a major rant this week, seeing red over ‘irony’:

Pop Idol judge Simon Cowell is apparently the nation’s ideal employer, according to a survey out this week…Abe Elkinson, a director at Trust Medical who commissioned the landmark piece of research, said: “To say we were surprised by the public’s choice is an understatement.”

Then don’t.

But Abe continued: “Simon Cowell isn’t known for his sweet and gentle personality – in fact he’s made a career out of being sarcastic, rude and ridiculing people.

“So for him to come out top as the nation’s favourite boss is rather ironic.”

No it isn’t. What is it about irony that people don’t understand? There is nothing ironic in that statement at all.

Abe Elkinson is clearly blighted by the same condition that plagued the song-writing of long-faced Canadian chanteuse Alanis Morrisette.

For example: ‘It’s like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife/ It’s meeting the man of my dreams…/ And then meeting his beautiful wife.’

Not ironic in the slightest. Annoying, granted. A sign that you have too many spoons, definitely, and possibly also evidence that the man of her dreams wasn’t really married but rather asked a female friend to pose as his wife because some crazy spoon-collecting Canadian was trying to crack onto him.