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Sky News to relaunch on October 24th

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Hold up! Before you read on, please read this...

This post was published more than 12 years ago

I keep old posts on the site because I often enjoy reading old content on other people's sites. Not everything that is old is bad. It can be interesting to see how views have changed over time: for example, how my strident teenage views have mellowed and matured.

But given the age of this post, please bear in mind:

  • My views might very well have changed in the 12 years since I wrote this post. I have written some very silly things over the years, many of which I find pretty embarrassing today.
  • This post might use language in ways which I would now consider highly inappropriate or offensive.
  • Factual information might be outdated.
  • Links might be broken; embedded material might not appear properly.

Okay. Consider yourself duly warned. Read on...

Sky have confirmed that their news channel is to relaunch on October 24th, in an over-sized studio with flashy screens and a spinning desk. Following on from previous practices, rumours suggest that the studio is to be referred to as Skybase, and all presenters will be required to wear coloured jump suits whilst presenting, and interacting with a computer-generated 3D world of flying news-related objects. A corner of the studio will be reserved in case of a formal declaration of war, and at such a moment the desk will spin at high speed to give the appropriate backdrop, whilst pyrotechnics around the desk give the appearance of a giant news-based catherine wheel.

Weather will be presented from the upper floors of the mammoth studio, on the basis that they will be closer to the real weather action happening above our heads. This will be facilitated by an opening roof hatch, which will double-up as a way for Kay ‘Meet the People’ Burley to dramatically board the SkyCopter when opinions are sought on a given issue. A giant tower is also to be erected on top of the studio building, from where comment can be passed on the state of traffic on all Britain’s roads.

It’s going to be great.

This 741st post was filed under: Media.

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