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About me

Well I thought it was funny…


Hold up! Before you read on, please read this...

This post was published more than 14 years ago

I keep old posts on the site because I often enjoy reading old content on other people's sites. Not everything that is old is bad. It can be interesting to see how views have changed over time: for example, how my strident teenage views have mellowed and matured.

But given the age of this post, please bear in mind:

  • My views might very well have changed in the 14 years since I wrote this post. I have written some very silly things over the years, many of which I find pretty embarrassing today.
  • This post might use language in ways which I would now consider highly inappropriate or offensive.
  • Factual information might be outdated.
  • Links might be broken; embedded material might not appear properly.

Okay. Consider yourself duly warned. Read on...

The only two jokes I’ve read on the internet recently that literally made me laugh out loud (and they’re all strangely on the same topic…):

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren’t enough rooms — so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, “I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!” The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he’s had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, “That’s funny — I dreamed I was skiing!”

One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, “We’re making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off.”

Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, “Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don’t know who to fire.”

The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, “Barbara, I’ve got a problem. You see, I’ve got to lay you or Jack off and I don’t know what to do?”

Barbara replied, “You’d better jack off. I’ve got a headache.”

This guy goes to the doctor and says, “Doc, you’ve got to help me! My penis is turning orange!” The doctor says,” Well, what do you do for a living?” The man replies, “I’m unemployed. I just sit at home all day eating Cheetos and watching pornos.”

Originally posted on The LBSC

This 28th post was filed under: Headliner.

More posts worth reading

What I’ve been reading this month (published 5th March 2018)

What I’ve been reading this month (published 6th February 2018)

TV I’ve been watching lately (published 9th January 2018)

Ryanair passengers are idiots who should bugger off (published 5th September 2012)

Innumeracy and risk-perception in healthcare (published 9th February 2012)

Cheating (published 29th March 2006)

Party Websites (published 6th February 2005)

Comments and responses

Comment from sjhoward (author of the post)

by sjhoward

Comment posted at 00:53 on 26th August 2005.

Yes, I can count to three. But maybe that was more of a challenge back in 2003.

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