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Hold up! Before you read on, please read this...

This post was published more than 14 years ago

I keep old posts on the site because I often enjoy reading old content on other people's sites. Not everything that is old is bad. It can be interesting to see how views have changed over time: for example, how my strident teenage views have mellowed and matured.

But given the age of this post, please bear in mind:

  • My views might very well have changed in the 14 years since I wrote this post. I have written some very silly things over the years, many of which I find pretty embarrassing today.
  • This post might use language in ways which I would now consider highly inappropriate or offensive.
  • Factual information might be outdated.
  • Links might be broken; embedded material might not appear properly.

Okay. Consider yourself duly warned. Read on...

I know why you read my rubbish. It’s because you love me.

But why do people read utter rubbish such as Zoo Weekly or Nuts (yes, I do know why, I’m just trying – and failing – to sound incredulous).

Quote from Media Guardian article coming up…

“Emap-owned Zoo Weekly began life as the marginally more tabloid of the two, and has managed to inch even further downmarket.

“Highlights in the current issue include an elephant being induced to orgasm (headline: “Jumbo jet”), a spread of graphic pictures of a high-speed racing crash that severed former F1 star Alex Zanardi’s legs (“a gruesome debris of cockpit and flesh flew into the air”) and a picture of the “world’s biggest natural norks”.

“Compared with this, Nuts feels a bit like Readers’ Digest – albeit a Readers’ Digest that just happens to have loads of features about cars. And a French vampire who “drank blood, ate slices of dead people and committed murder. He’s on the loose now…”. Perhaps he’ll get his own column in Zoo. Comedian Mark Thomas used to have a column there himself, but left after one issue because he did not like being surrounded by lots of pictures of naked women. The fact this took him by surprise suggests he does not read too many lads’ mags.”

It’s not even funny. I mean, “Jumbo Jet”? It’s one level of humour below “Ha ha, you said ‘poo'”. People who read this trash should be shot. Or at least severely maimed.

Talking of being severly maimed, or not, I had a lecture today from someone who had a weird accent, pronouncing V’s as W’s, much like the Blackadder scene. It really does grate after a while of being told about taking blood from weins, and people womiting.

I’m off to find some food now.

Originally posted on The LBSC

This 78th post was filed under: Headliner.

More posts worth reading

What I’ve been reading this month (published 1st April 2018)

World TB Day (published 24th March 2018)

What I’ve been reading this month (published 5th March 2018)

Leader reneges on secret deal (published 8th May 2005)

iPad App Reviews: All next week on sjhoward.co.uk (published 8th April 2011)

Blair knocks Brown – it didn’t take long (published 11th May 2007)

Webcameron (published 2nd October 2006)


Comments and responses

Comment from bri


by bri

Comment posted at 22:14 on 28th March 2006.

I love Blackadder.

I actually hadn’t heard of either of those sites before reading about them here, but I used to get the Weekly World News every week when I worked an overnight shift. At 3am it was just some goofy crap to read over my fifth cup of Mountian Dew.


Comment from sjhoward (author of the post)


by sjhoward

Comment posted at 22:54 on 28th March 2006.

Zoo Weekly and Nuts are actually magazines, rather than websites. Magazines which have recently become so explicit that they are to be consigned to the top shelf.


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