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Website (Part Two)

I moved my website, as I’ve already told you (weren’t you listening?) It’s completely incompatible with most browsers’ security settings, and has one of the slowest loading times and worst page designs of any site I regularly visit. Imagine my surprise, then, when I log into my stats area and find that in the ten days since I put it up, my site has received 1464 hits.

This scares me – Who wants to see the same content as me? Surely there aren’t that many people out there who want to reference Fame Academy news, The LBSC and American TV News amongst other stuff? It scares me, because I thought my interests were a fairly unique combination – but the stats clearly show not only a scary number of hits, but also that the majority of visitors return. But I have made a special logo to celebrate, and even in my current, slightly inebriated, state I know it looks crap. But then, at least it makes a change.

Another thing that surprised me – Lloyds TSB online banking is ‘closed’ between midnight and 4am every day. Surely that defeats the object – No-one wants 20hr internet banking, what’s wrong with 24hr? What do they do for those four hours? If it wasn’t a regular thing, I’d think it was a system update, but obviously not…

The summer holidays are here, which means that annoying numbers of small individuals are flooding the streets. This annoys me. I’m beginning to seriously consider painting large boils all over my body before going out of the house, since I would assume that people would not then walk right into you – Christmas and Summer are the only times of year when being a leper might have strong advantages. I’m beginning to truly understand why people would actually want to go to Tesco at 3am.

Am I the only person in the country who thinks it’s wrong to says that it’s “good” that Saddam Hussein’s sons are dead? Surely it can never be a good thing that someone has been killed. Their father may have had some, well, warped ideas, but why is it right to celebrate the death of two fellow human beings? Surely that just lowers our moral standards to the same level as those we are apparently trying to destroy.

And another thing – if anyone has contacts at the ITV News, please tell the script writers to actually write in full sentences. It annoys me immensely the way they talk like newspaper headlines when doing the headlines package at the beginning of their programmes – would it really take much longer to speak in full sentences? They manage on every other news programme. I don’t actually watch the ITV News, so perhaps I have no real right to comment, but when it’s on in the background it annoys me.

This amused me greatly, as does pretty much anything about Norway. This seemed funny too, just because the thought of an elephant down a well makes me laugh. This may be something to do with it being 3.19am right now, which suggests that I may not be of completely sound mind.

Anyway, I think I should probably stop typing now before I give some deeply psychological revelation about my inner psyche, or basically make more of an idiot of myself as I probably have already – I’ll leave it till the morning, which is technically later today, to decide, so this post might disappear then.

Big Sloppy Kisses,

tillyoshea

Originally posted on The LBSC

This 19th post was filed under: Media, Technology.

House Alarms and Homebase

At about half eleven this morning, we had a power cut. Many house alarms went off. One is still going off , and I am beginning to have violent tendencies – or at least get a little angry.

Why do alarm manufacturers not include some kind of timer mechanism? I mean, is burglar Boris really going to hang around for three hours after the alarm has gone off? Is burglar Boris going to hang around for three hours even if there isn’t an alarm?

(Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have anything wrong with people named Boris per sé, I just wanted the alliteration and burglar Bob, burglar Ben and burglar Barney all sound…well…wrong).

There was nothing that particularly annoyed me at work yesterday. Amazing, though I put it down to the fact that I really didn’t care about anything yesterday. Though the thought of Sir Fat Tony running amock with a chainsaw festered somewhat . We’re still chronically short staffed (‘…we have no-one on DIY, Power Tools, Plumbing or Building today so if you could look after those as well as the wallpaper I’d be grateful…’) but I’m used to that. I still have little or no idea about anything I’m selling :

‘…I’m looking for an oogaboogawhatsit’
‘Follow me!’
‘Why are we going to the electrical section, I’d have though it was in plumbing’
‘Sorry?’
‘Oogaboogawhatsits – won’t they be in plumbing’
‘Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you asked for a light switch! Silly Me!…Now…Can you see one?’
‘Yes, they’re right here’
‘Oh, I didn’t see them there. I must be blind, they’re right in front of me!’
‘Do you think this’ll fit my oogaboogerer?’
‘I couldn’t be sure, really. Does it look about right’
‘Yes’
‘Take it then, you can always bring it back if it’s wrong’

I even had a customer ask me if I knew what the thing he was asking for was…
I said ‘Yes, it’s that erm…you know…you err…’ whilst gesticulating wildly.
‘It’s sticky plastic’ came the response.
‘That’s right, you can put it into words so much better than I can’

We even had a letter of complaint from someone who’d bought a sun lounger and couldn’t use it because it hadn’t been sunny. And someone came in to complain about not having all the bits for a gazebo he’d bought. Turned out that he had only taken one box, despite the clear ‘BOX 2 OF 2’ labelling.

But the point is, there was nothing which especially aggravated me. I wasn’t asked to do anything inherently pointless, and no customers had a go at me for things outside of my control . In fact, no customers had a go at me at all.

So, all in all, my hellish day at Hombase was more…purgatorial than hellish this week.

But that damn alarm is more than making up for things.

Originally posted on The LBSC

This 18th post was filed under: Homebase.

Whoosh

I really do not have much to say at the moment. Erm…my driving licence arrived. Whoopteedoo. I bought a TV card for my PC, more to annoy my brother than because I actually wanted one (He keeps saying he wants one, so I bought one…for me!). It’s fairly handy I suppose for recording things without having to set a video or anything – just right click the program in Digiguide and select Record One Off or Record Series. Maybe it’ll help me to watch things that I mean to watch and then forget, if it automatically records them.

That’s pretty much all I have to say right now.

Love and Kisses,

The Huggable Tillyoshea.

Originally posted on The LBSC

This 17th post was filed under: Miscellaneous.

Website

I’ve finally updated my website and moved it to a new domain. Unfortunately, I lost most of the content in the process (oops).

So go here and marvel at the fantastic coding behind the standardised menu system and syndication of this site to the home page. Just ignore the lack of content.

Originally posted on The LBSC

This 16th post was filed under: Site Updates.


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