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Bird ‘Flu: The Musical

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Hold up! Before you read on, please read this...

This post was published more than 13 years ago

I keep old posts on the site because I often enjoy reading old content on other people's sites. It can be interesting to see how views have changed over time: for example, how my strident teenage views have, to put it mildly, mellowed.

I'm not a believer in brushing the past under the carpet. I've written some offensive rubbish on here in the past: deleting it and pretending it never happened doesn't change that. I hope that stumbling across something that's 13 years old won't offend anyone anew, because I hope that people can understand that what I thought and felt and wrote about then is probably very different to what I think and feel and wrote about now. It's a relic of an (albeit recent) bygone era.

So, given the age of this post, please bear in mind:

  • My views may well have changed in the last 13 years. I have written some very silly things over the years, many of which I find utterly cringeworthy today.
  • This post might use words or language in ways which I would now consider highly inappropriate, offensive, embarrassing, or all three.
  • Factual information might be outdated.
  • Links might be broken, and embedded material might not appear properly.

Okay. Consider yourself duly warned. Read on...

Are you prepared?

The Scene
On their way back to Earth, having been away for many years trying to discover a cure for avian flu, astronaut Bernard Matthews and his crew are brought out of their cryogenic sleep as their ship intercepts an interstellar distress signal. They crash-land on a planet that seems uninhabited, but are soon enslaved by giant, English-speaking chickens in leather jackets.

Sample lyric
“It swept the planet and laid us low,
This pandemic,
This terrible blow.

We travelled the skies, In search of a clue,
A prescription,
For this avian flu.

I returned with a cure, but now what really sickens,
Is that I’m being pushed around,
By a bunch of free-range chickens”

The Grauny’s other fantastic musical suggestions, including Oxford English Dictionary: The Musical, can be found here. This is all in celebration of NHS: The Musical and Shane Warne: The Musical… which are, scarily, genuine.

This 883rd post was filed under: Media, News and Comment.

Some recently published posts

What I’ve been reading this month / August 2019, 7 minutes long

A flying visit to Copenhagen / July 2019, 9 minutes long

What I’ve been reading this month / June 2019, 6 minutes long

Reflecting on my first ten years as a doctor / June 2019, 8 minutes long

What I’ve been reading this month / June 2019, 6 minutes long

Some random old posts

More from the Parish / March 2004, 1 minute long

I was swallowed by a hippo / June 2014, Less than a minute long

Bird ‘Flu: The Musical / June 2006, 1 minute long

12,000 / March 2005, Less than a minute long

Pope to ban gay priests? / August 2005, 2 minutes long

ASCII Movies / February 2005, Less than a minute long


Comments and responses

Comment from Fern


by Fern

Comment posted at 10:18 on 20th June 2006.

This might interest you. I came across it in my encyclopaedia while looking for something else.
Newcastle disease: A rapidly spreading virus-induced disease of birds and domestic fowl, as chickens, marked by respiratory difficulty, reduced egg production and, in chicks, paralysis. (after Newcastle-upon-Tyne, near which the disease was first reported in 1927).


Comment from sjhoward (author of the post)


by sjhoward

Comment posted at 18:32 on 20th June 2006.

Fantastic!

I have to say, I’ve always felt a bit sorry for Bristol in this department…


Comment from Fern


by Fern

Comment posted at 10:35 on 21st June 2006.

Oh dear, oh dear, that may be more than I wanted to know. But being public-spirited I shall have to pass the Bristol info on to one or two other people!


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