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Bird ‘Flu: The Musical

Hold up!

See that little date above?

This post was published years ago.

My opinions have changed over time: I think it's quite fun to keep old posts online so that you can see how that has happened. The downside is that there are posts on this site that express views that I now find offensive, or use language in ways I'd never dream of using it today.

I don't believe in airbrushing history, but I do believe that it's important to acknowledge the obvious: some of what I've written in the past has been crap. Some of it was offensive. Some of it was offensively bad. And there's may be some brass among the muck (you can make up your own mind on that).

Some of what I've presented as my own views has been me—wittingly or unwittingly—posturing without having considered all the facts. In a few years, I'll probably think the same about what I'm writing today, and I'm fine with that. Things change. People grow. Society moves forward.

The internet moves on too, which means there might be broken links or embedded content that fails to load. If you're unlucky, that might mean that this post makes no sense at all.

So please consider yourself duly warned: this post is an historical artefact. It's not an exposition of my current views nor a piece of 'content' than necessarily 'works'.

You may now read on... and in most cases, the post you're about to read is considerably shorter than this warning box, so brace for disappointment.

Are you prepared?

The Scene
On their way back to Earth, having been away for many years trying to discover a cure for avian flu, astronaut Bernard Matthews and his crew are brought out of their cryogenic sleep as their ship intercepts an interstellar distress signal. They crash-land on a planet that seems uninhabited, but are soon enslaved by giant, English-speaking chickens in leather jackets.

Sample lyric
“It swept the planet and laid us low,
This pandemic,
This terrible blow.

We travelled the skies, In search of a clue,
A prescription,
For this avian flu.

I returned with a cure, but now what really sickens,
Is that I’m being pushed around,
By a bunch of free-range chickens”

The Grauny’s other fantastic musical suggestions, including Oxford English Dictionary: The Musical, can be found here. This is all in celebration of NHS: The Musical and Shane Warne: The Musical… which are, scarily, genuine.

This post was filed under: Media, News and Comment.

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Comments and responses

Comment from Fern


    10.18, 20/06/2006

This might interest you. I came across it in my encyclopaedia while looking for something else.
Newcastle disease: A rapidly spreading virus-induced disease of birds and domestic fowl, as chickens, marked by respiratory difficulty, reduced egg production and, in chicks, paralysis. (after Newcastle-upon-Tyne, near which the disease was first reported in 1927).


Comment from sjhoward (author of the post)


    18.32, 20/06/2006

Fantastic!

I have to say, I’ve always felt a bit sorry for Bristol in this department…


Comment from Fern


    10.35, 21/06/2006

Oh dear, oh dear, that may be more than I wanted to know. But being public-spirited I shall have to pass the Bristol info on to one or two other people!




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