Hold up! Before you read on, please read this...

This post was published more than 16 years ago

I keep old posts on the site because I often enjoy reading old content on other people's sites. It can be interesting to see how views have changed over time: for example, how my strident teenage views have, to put it mildly, mellowed.

I'm not a believer in brushing the past under the carpet. I've written some offensive rubbish on here in the past: deleting it and pretending it never happened doesn't change that. I hope that stumbling across something that's 16 years old won't offend anyone anew, because I hope that people can understand that what I thought and felt and wrote about then is probably very different to what I think and feel and write about now. It's a relic of an (albeit recent) bygone era.

So, given the age of this post, please bear in mind:

• My views may well have changed in the last 16 years. I have written some very silly things over the years, many of which I find utterly cringeworthy today.
• This post might use words or language in ways which I would now consider highly inappropriate, offensive, embarrassing, or all three.
• Factual information might be outdated.
• Links might be broken, and embedded material might not appear properly.

Okay. Consider yourself duly warned. Read on...

You can just imagine the meetings…

England:
A – Hmm, Millionaire is our most successful gameshow format ever, but it’s getting a bit boring. Maybe we should pull it for a while.
B – Nooooo! That’d mean thinking up a new gameshow, potentially as bad as Shafted or The People Versus!
A – Why don’t we try a different prime time format that’s NOT a game show?
B – What, like reality?
A – NO, something completely different
B – Far too risky. Everyone loves Millionaire.
A – Well… can we tweak it then?
B – Hmm… Format popular worldwide… Still pulling in many viewers… Logical conclusion: Change it!
A – Now you’re talking!
B – Everyone likes Millionaire… What else do people like?
A – We always get big ratings for football
B – We do, don’t we? OK, idea of the century here… Football themed Millionaire!
A – Fan-bloody-tastic. They won’t be able to resist!

USA:
A – Hmm, Millionaire is our most successful gameshow format ever. We’ve had it pulled for a while now, shoved it on daytime, and it’s quite popular. Maybe we should resurrect it.
B – Yeeeah! That’d really be a show of solidarity with our British allies in the War!
A – Right. Let’s get Regis back and do it then.
B – But… won’t it be a bit boring?
A – Yer what?
B – Well…we’ve seen it all before.
A – What should we do then?
B – Americanize it.
A – How? Claim that we’re liberating the contestants…you know the kind of thing…you reach $32000 and we bomb your house! Reach $64000 and we kill your mother! But no worry, the money makes it all better and liberates you!
B – Might have legal problems there. I was thinking along the lines of being BIGGER.
A – Who Wants to be a Fat Millionaire? Prizes paid in Fast Food vouchers?
B – Err…No. How about… Super Millionaire!
A – Now that’s just genius.

Originally posted on The LBSC