Ever encouraging reader participation, here’s an update on this post from June last year, which I received via email today.

I googled for their page since I couldn’t find it and found your post
regarding it. You forget to mention that GetFitta doesn’t only mean pussy,
(fitta) but Getfitta means goat pussy.

It doesn’t really help that their slogan is(was?) “It’s time to get fitta”.

Johan Karlborg
Sweden.

So thank you for that.

And in an update on my babies: I have two, one of each sex. I emailed the girl, who seems nice enough, and phoned the boy, who also seems nice enough if a little confused (having said that, it was almost certainly my fault, and I’ve emailed him now to try and explain things a little more sanely)

I’m returning to uni in time for freshers’ next week, actually going and moving in to my shiny new house on Friday. Still lots to organise, as ever, such as getting phone line(s) installed, and other little bits and pieces. So I guess I better get on with it…

Originally posted on The LBSC

So he would be happy overseeing an ‘imperfect election’ in Iraq?

At last, the Bush administration oversee something in which they are highly experienced.

Originally posted on The LBSC

I know that it’s probably poor timing to start ranting about the latest terrible events in Iraq already, but I think that this really needs to be said.

Almost all of the vox-pops and people I’ve spoken to have said that we shouldn’t negotiate with terrorists, even with these potential grim outcomes. That’s a very commendable sentiment, but completely irrelevant. The current situation should not ever have involved either Bush or Blair, let alone left them appearing to need to negotiate with terrorists.

The position of the Iraqi government is clear. They want to release the women in Iraqi prisons, so that the views of all of those Iraqis (and there are more than a few) who think that the imprisonment of women is wrong are represented. Indeed, they see all Iraqis as valid citizens, so that a government can be formed which represents the views of all Iraqis.

The spanner in the works that has directly led to the deaths of two US Citizens, and possibly one British citizen, is George W Bush. The two women are in US custody, supposedly on behalf of the Iraqi government. How sovereign can the Iraqi government be if their wishes are being ignored? Of course, George Bush doesn’t want to be accused of letting Saddam’s friends go. But, crucuially, it isn’t his call. It’s nothing to do with him, and I’m fairly sure that what he is doing breaks international law.

And Tony Blair is left in the middle. Well, actually, I’m not entirely sure of Tony’s stance, but it seems to me that Jack Straw is aware that this situation is incredibly injust, and it’s an arrogant US President that will effectively kill a British citizen.

This isn’t some kind of hidden story. It’s been played out in full on the ‘better’ TV News programmes, and in the broadsheets. But the country doesn’t seem to be getting the message, which suggests that the tabloid newspapers and programmes are over-simplifying the story. Lucky for Blair.

Tony Blair should publically call for President Bush to but out of Iraq’s affairs. But, of course, he would never do that, especially when it’s his good friend’s election year.

Not that Tony’s much better – and this bit’s purely my opinion, and if it’s complete bollocks then that’s my bad – but why has Mr Blair brought up the hunting debate now? Because it’s a very devisive issue, bound to cause protest at his Party Conference. So the news will be full of protestors who support fox-hunting – approximately half of the viewers will disagree with what these protesters are saying, and hence this won’t be nearly as damaging as if Mr Blair had been faced with hoardes of War in Iraq protestors – who would inevitably have grabbed the headlines has it not been for this policy suddenly making a reappearence – with whom the majority of the viewers would sympathise.

Well that’s all been thoroughly depressing. But I did like Charles Kennedy’s speech today. And I move into my new Stocktonite house next week. So it’s not all bad.

Originally posted on The LBSC

Time to put your thinking caps on (I wish I had one…)

1. On the Official Harrow Council Website, is Eileen Kinnear, Conservative councillor for Harrow on the Hill, wearing glasses or not?

2. Can you Name the October Surprise?

Originally posted on The LBSC

In response to Jack’s post… I do not support a ban on fox hunting. Predictable, I know, since I rarely support banning anything. Frankly, though, I haven’t heard a single logical argument for banning it. The fact that it’s apparently ‘cruel’ to foxes certainly doesn’t count as logical. If it’s cruel, then it is already illegal under the Cruelty to Animals Acts 1849 and 1854, not to mention the Martin Act 1822, and the bazillions of other Animal Cruelty Acts (famously passed long before the Cruelty to Children Act 1884 – useless trivia, all part of the Tilly O’Shea service).

It’s like Tony’s ludicrous brainwave of passing legislation to ban using a mobile while driving – it was already illegal, why complicate the matter by introducing another bill specifying that this in particular is illegal? Are we to pass another law to say that killing someone by poking them repeatedly with a fork is illegal, just in case our laws on murder aren’t clear? Unnecessary legislation does nothing but infringes on the freedom of the people.

Back to fox hunting… Whilst I would not want to put on boots for hunting and do it, and whilst I can see Jack’s point that “dressing it up as a sherry guzzling, red jacketed wankfest is wholly unnecessary”, I don’t see any good reason to ban it. If everything I didn’t particularly like was banned, then this country would be somewhat less than a utopian ideal.

Originally posted on The LBSC

I still don’t know who my babies are. They must be well overdue by now.

As a response to Jack, I went through my whole first year without a saucepan. It’s really not needed. Just whack things in bowls and in the microwave, much easier. A good baking tray is essential though. Come to think of it, I don’t think I actually ate beans during my first year, either. But there ya go.

It turns out that udder oitment can give you acne. So if you, erm, like cows, then don’t go rubbing their udders on your face. Or something.

I still have the best part of a month left of my holidays, so I expect I really won’t be doing much that requires posting.

As an update on my housey-housey (oh, how I miss Mr Evans and Ms Roslin in a morning – acutally, I really don’t) it is pretty much finished. I’m in the downstairs bedroom, which is at the front of the house and so incredibly handy for being nosy at the neighbours (especially since the window is fitted with funky one-way glass like in the Big Brother house – and a ‘stylish’ net curtain). The bathroom is finished (finally). The kitchen sink drains directly into the back yard, which is possibly problematic. And the stairs are unfeasibly steep, but as I have no reason to go upstairs that shouldn’t be a problem. We also have a very comfortable leather suite. And two fridges. So if you’re ever in the North-East and want to drop by….

I went in Homebase the other day, and found that I didn’t get that sense of dread that I’ve always previously felt. I was served in Tesco by a friend from college too, who told me that she’d been offered a job at Homebase (before the one at Tesco) but turned it down because of how bad I’d made it seem. I think the mental scars are healing, a year after I left.

Oh. and I don’t think you’d be able to fit an ASBO on your face. Nor is David Blunkett a qualified tatooist (at least, I hope not).

In the saddest of possible admissions, I’m off to read the BMA News now. Good bye.

PS – I also have GMail invites. Email me if you want one.

Originally posted on The LBSC

I too am nervous about next Thursday – A-Level results day – as it’ll determine who my babies are! It’s beginning to dawn on me that referring to them as ‘babies’ is probably not the best strategy, so I should use their proper title. Except I don’t really know what it is.

To politics: Howard’s education policy – I quite like it. Clearly issues need resolving, but I don’t see why disruptive pupils should be allowed to hinder the life chances of more willing pupils? I, personally, would like to see the widespread reintroduction of streaming in state schools, with more vocational courses more widely available to those who want them. Howard’s expullsion plan clearly needs to have the extra support of an educational alternative.

Their health policy isn’t quite as good – offer a choice so that people flock to ‘popular’ hospitals, leaving less popular ones almost empty so that government figures can look good by reflecting minimum waiting times as the empty hospitals, and ignoring the overcrowding at popular ones: “If you need a hip replacement, under this government you need only wait ten days, whereas under Labour you had to wait six months”.

To the police, then: I think Jack will find that Labour have closed more local police stations in their seven years than the Conservatives ever did – including the two closest to my house (one of which is now a funeral directors, in the most obscure location). I’m now a good twenty, maybe twenty-five minutes away from my nearest police station. And, incidentally, a good hour away from the nearest A+E that accepts children. It’s not as if I live in the middle of nowhere, just in case you’re wondering.

I also note that Mr Blair wants the children of criminals tracked from an early age to prevent them from following in their parents footsteps. I think this policy is absolutely appalling – it assumes that the children of a criminal will have the same value system as their parents. This may be a statistical likelihood, but children should not be subject to increased stigma and ultimately distress by being treated differently like this. The parent may have been forced into criminal action by extenuating circumstances… whilst this certainly doesn’t justify the action, special treatment of their children is equally unacceptable.

The only thing Labour have got largely right it what they’re traditionally good at – support for low income families. Their policies on this front are largely admirable, certainly moreso than those of the Conservative party.

The Lottery argument is completely absurd. So stupid, in fact, that it doesn’t even deserve discussion. I still stick by my belief that the vast majority of criminals – perhaps all criminals – are not ‘bad people’, and so shouldn’t be treated as such. I’d like to see widespread reform of this country’s penal system, but that’s probably just my liberal ideals slipping through, and it certainly wouldn’t appeal to middle-England.

Anyway, I’m unhappily suffering with ‘flu at the moment. Given that it’s supposed to run for about seven to ten days, and I’ve been feeling half-dead for about a week now, I figured that I might start feeling better by today. No such luck. And I’m off to London tomorrow, so if you happen to be on the same plane as me, look forward to a period of ill health, because I’m not cancelling my trip for the benefit of the other passengers. I’m just not that generous. Hell, if they suffer badly they can have the blood I donated the other week (see, I’m really a nice person).

Until next time, I’m off to sniffle some more and find some LemSip.

Adios.

Originally posted on The LBSC

Hurrah, she deserved it. Almost makes up for Anna losing out in the first series… but not quite.

As for Jack’s “white as my boxers” comment, I’m not sure I understand. I personally have a veritable rainbow of underwear colours – am I to assume that his boxers started white, or just ended up that way? Or was he, in fact, not very white at all?

The mind boggles.

Originally posted on The LBSC

Courtesy of Reuters:

A police sniffer dog died of a suspected overdose while out hunting for drugs, British police said on Monday.

Todd, a 7-year-old Springer spaniel, had been looking for drugs in a field and car in Preston, northern England, when his handler noticed he was looking unwell.

He was taken to a vet and then rushed to an animal intensive care unit at Liverpool University, displaying symptoms of ingesting amphetamines, a Lancashire police spokeswoman said.

He died shortly afterwards.

The death was said to have devastated Todd’s handler, Police Constable Roger Moore, his wife and two young children.

“He (Todd) lived with them and they would all go for walks with him — he was their dog,” Sergeant Peter Crane of Preston’s dog unit told the Daily Mirror.

“He’s going to be very difficult to replace, but police work is dangerous and unfortunately Todd has become a casualty.”

Police said a post mortem on Todd was being carried out.

Oh, the irony.

Originally posted on The LBSC

I wouldn’t want any dedicated fan of mine to get hurt, so make sure you check www.preparingforemergencies.co.uk

My favourite part of this story it the Government’s response to the site:

Dear Mr Scott,

Regarding your website, www.preparingforemergencies.co.uk

We run the Government website for the Preparing for Emergencies public information campaign, on www.preparingforemergencies.gov.uk, and are very concerned that the material on your site will confuse people about the sensitive advice and information that we are giving to the public.

This is a very is [sic] serious campaign that should not be trivialised. In the interests of helping people to cope in the event of a crisis or a disaster we would ask that you to take down the site, immediately, and not put it up again in another guise.

Sincerely,

[name removed]

How the hell can anyone be confused by that website? It’s certainly better and more interesting than www.preparingforemergencies.gov.uk, anyway.

Originally posted on The LBSC