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  • Toe Sucking

    Filed at 04:36 on 2nd August 2003.
    Filed by sjhoward at 04:36 on Saturday, 2nd August 2003 under Homebase.

    No, this is not going to be a post for the more perverted among you…or is it? Frankly, no.

    I’ve hurt my toe. My little toe. And it is at the point where it has become painful to walk.

    Is there any less respectable and masculine an injury than breaking your little toe? Well, possibly (breaking a nail or damaging your limp wrists, being cases in point), but I did feel something of an idiot saying that I couldn’t do my normal job at work (walking round and helping customers) because I’d hurt my toe. So instead, I went in and answered the phones.

    But, alas, that was not to last. For after two hours, I was sent home as they realised that if I wasn’t supposed to walk on it (I’m not), and I did so at work, it might make it worse and I’d sue them. So I was sent home. However, they did say they’d pay me for the day, so it’s not all bad. But it was noticeable that it took three people two hours to come to this conclusion.

    So, peeps, you are to be deprived of my weekly Homebase missive. Unless you count the above, which I wouldn’t if I were you. I spent the time I gained building a sidebar for my browser. If you want to see it, go here . If you don’t, don’t.

    If you’re wondering how I managed to do my toe: I slipped down the stairs. I was not drunk at the time, although this has been insinuated or just asked outright by, I would estimate, 90% of those who know about my toe. How this resulted in me hurting my little toe is a mystery to me. And I was there.

    I really can’t express how surprisingly painful it is. I would’ve thought that it’d only be a little pain for a little toe, but, alas, no. Having never broken anything before, I’ve nothing really to compare it to, but if pain is related to bone size then I have great sympathy for those with massive broken bones. You – at the back – stop giggling, there is nothing funny about discussing bone size. I mean, it must be agony to break your leg or something. To be honest, it’s not actually that painful, but it’s more painful than you would expect, in my opinion.

    That’s about all I’m going to post right now, because I feel completely stupid, frankly. And if you were expecting some mention of sucking in this post, you will be disappointed. Sorry to get your hopes up (Really, I’m not). The pain you experienced through your disappointment is your punishment for not having sympathy for my toe.

    Good day to you.

    Originally posted on The LBSC



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    glenda responds »

    your article did make me laugh, i too have just broken my little toe and the pain has been unbelievable, i also have asked friends and family does pain vary with bone size, if so broken bigger bones must be horrendous and i will give my utmost sympathy to anyone with broken bones in the future.

    16th May 2007 | Permalink

    » This comment was received at 22:30 on 16 May 07


    The author, sjhoward responds, »

    I’m glad it made you laugh, and I hope you’re feeling better now! :-)

    16th May 2007 | Permalink

    » This comment was received at 23:07 on 16 May 07


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