About me
About me

Toe Sucking


Hold up! Before you read on, please read this...

This post was published more than 15 years ago

I keep old posts on the site because I often enjoy reading old content on other people's sites. Not everything that is old is bad. It can be interesting to see how views have changed over time: for example, how my strident teenage views have mellowed and matured.

But given the age of this post, please bear in mind:

  • My views might very well have changed in the 15 years since I wrote this post. I have written some very silly things over the years, many of which I find pretty embarrassing today.
  • This post might use language in ways which I would now consider highly inappropriate or offensive.
  • Factual information might be outdated.
  • Links might be broken; embedded material might not appear properly.

Okay. Consider yourself duly warned. Read on...

No, this is not going to be a post for the more perverted among you…or is it? Frankly, no.

I’ve hurt my toe. My little toe. And it is at the point where it has become painful to walk.

Is there any less respectable and masculine an injury than breaking your little toe? Well, possibly (breaking a nail or damaging your limp wrists, being cases in point), but I did feel something of an idiot saying that I couldn’t do my normal job at work (walking round and helping customers) because I’d hurt my toe. So instead, I went in and answered the phones.

But, alas, that was not to last. For after two hours, I was sent home as they realised that if I wasn’t supposed to walk on it (I’m not), and I did so at work, it might make it worse and I’d sue them. So I was sent home. However, they did say they’d pay me for the day, so it’s not all bad. But it was noticeable that it took three people two hours to come to this conclusion.

So, peeps, you are to be deprived of my weekly Homebase missive. Unless you count the above, which I wouldn’t if I were you. I spent the time I gained building a sidebar for my browser. If you want to see it, go here . If you don’t, don’t.

If you’re wondering how I managed to do my toe: I slipped down the stairs. I was not drunk at the time, although this has been insinuated or just asked outright by, I would estimate, 90% of those who know about my toe. How this resulted in me hurting my little toe is a mystery to me. And I was there.

I really can’t express how surprisingly painful it is. I would’ve thought that it’d only be a little pain for a little toe, but, alas, no. Having never broken anything before, I’ve nothing really to compare it to, but if pain is related to bone size then I have great sympathy for those with massive broken bones. You – at the back – stop giggling, there is nothing funny about discussing bone size. I mean, it must be agony to break your leg or something. To be honest, it’s not actually that painful, but it’s more painful than you would expect, in my opinion.

That’s about all I’m going to post right now, because I feel completely stupid, frankly. And if you were expecting some mention of sucking in this post, you will be disappointed. Sorry to get your hopes up (Really, I’m not). The pain you experienced through your disappointment is your punishment for not having sympathy for my toe.

Good day to you.

Originally posted on The LBSC

This 20th post was filed under: Homebase.

More posts worth reading

What I’ve been reading this month (published 3rd December 2018)

What I’ve been reading this month (published 3rd November 2018)

What I’ve been reading this month (published 6th October 2018)

The 999th… and the 1st (published 16th November 2006)

Returning Politics to the People (published 23rd July 2007)

HP Support Blog: Day 16 (published 1st September 2006)

Fuel duty increase postponed. Nobody surprised. (published 16th July 2008)

Comments and responses

Comment from glenda

by glenda

Comment posted at 22:30 on 16th May 2007.

your article did make me laugh, i too have just broken my little toe and the pain has been unbelievable, i also have asked friends and family does pain vary with bone size, if so broken bigger bones must be horrendous and i will give my utmost sympathy to anyone with broken bones in the future.

Comment from sjhoward (author of the post)

by sjhoward

Comment posted at 23:07 on 16th May 2007.

I’m glad it made you laugh, and I hope you’re feeling better now! 🙂

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