This is too good not to share: the latest rumour from Rome is that there are two parties contending over the moribund Pope. The Italians want to let him go gracefully; the Poles want to keep him alive for as long as possible. But the best bit is the proposed compromise: he is to die on Good Friday, thus confirming, at least to Polish eyes, who it is he most resembles. How providential that Easter comes early this year.

Interesting gossip, though somewhat unlikely, I tend to think. Watch, now, as I curl up in embarrassment come 25th March, as the Pope drops dead…