About me
About me

Entry #99


Hold up! Before you read on, please read this...

This post was published more than 15 years ago

I keep old posts on the site because I often enjoy reading old content on other people's sites. It can be interesting to see how views have changed over time: for example, how my strident teenage views have, to put it mildly, mellowed.

I'm not a believer in brushing the past under the carpet. I've written some offensive rubbish on here in the past: deleting it and pretending it never happened doesn't change that. I hope that stumbling across something that's 15 years old won't offend anyone anew, because I hope that people can understand that what I thought and felt and wrote about then is probably very different to what I think and feel and wrote about now. It's a relic of an (albeit recent) bygone era.

So, given the age of this post, please bear in mind:

  • My views may well have changed in the last 15 years. I have written some very silly things over the years, many of which I find utterly cringeworthy today.
  • This post might use words or language in ways which I would now consider highly inappropriate, offensive, embarrassing, or all three.
  • Factual information might be outdated.
  • Links might be broken, and embedded material might not appear properly.

Okay. Consider yourself duly warned. Read on...

This being my ninety-ninth post, I thought I’d compile my own list of ’99 Things I Want to do Before I Die’. In no particular order. This should be interesting, as I don’t know if I have a long enough attention span to reach ninety-nine, or even whether there are ninety-nine things I particularly want to do. Let’s find out…

1. Qualify as a doctor

2. Do a parachute jump

3. Go paragliding

4. Make a billion

5. Lose a million

6. Write a textbook

7. Write a bestselling novel

8. Visit all seven continents

9. Drive / Be driven across America

10. Drive / Be driven across Australia

11. Visit the poorest parts of Africa

12. Visit the richest parts of America

13. Meet a US President

14. Complete a marathon

15. Give a million away

16. Go in to space

17. Pay someone to cook and clean for me

18. Invent or discover something revolutionary

19. Be the Time ‘Person of the Year’

20. Win an Oscar / Bafta / Booker Prize / Nobel Prize or similar

21. Visit one / both of the Poles

22. Fly a plane

23. Make a fire the old-fashioned way

24. Own several houses

25. Make something useful

26. Go on a rock star rampage

27. Get completely lost

28. Own a log cabin

29. Star in a wildly successful TV series

30. Release a wildly successful single

31. Be a guest voice on ‘The Simpsons’

32. Go through the ‘Basket’ till with a trolley full of goods separated into many different transactions

33. Pull off a hoax that is reported as truth in a national newspaper

34. Plant a tree

35. Live completely alone for a month or so

36. Stage a ‘punctuation crusade’

37. Become a highly influential politician

38. Become a regular columnist in a national newspaper

39. Present a highly successful radio show

40. Find a hat that doesn’t make me look stupid

41. Own a house with an indoor swimming pool

42. Travel in a submarine

43. Go on a cruise

44. Live on a houseboat

45. Get married [provided I find the perfect partner]

46. Drive / Fly around the country / world, visiting a different branch of McDonalds each day

47. Live in a foreign country (where English is not the predominant spoken language)

48. Relearn Latin

49. Have a home that is fitted entirely with a Home Automation System

50. Help someone in desperate need

51. Eliminate early mornings

52. Travel first class. Everywhere.

53. Achieve a world record

54. Have a portfolio of highly successful businesses

55. Teach

56. Save a life (Hopefully more than one)

57. Read all the books I own

58. Have more time to read the newspapers

59. Employ a Personal Assistant

60. Stage a ‘grammar crusade’

61. See a total solar eclipse

62. See a total lunar eclipse

63. Visit Greece

64. Take a tour of the White House

65. Own the complete Oxford English Dictionary

66. Take part in a successful campaign to have Sport News removed from main News Bulletins, except for special events

67. Appear on Newsnight in person

68. Write a Will

69. Appear on Question Time in person (as part of the panel)

70. Stage a successful series of concerts

71. Make a difference

72. Plan my own funeral

73. Be transiently world famous

74. Own a Segway Human Transporter

75. Sit on a jury

76. Buy an obscene number of Toasted Marshmallow Jelly Beans

77. Travel in a Hot Air Balloon

78. Present an award

79. Employ a butler

80. Have a positive impact on as many lives as possible

81. Have a negative impact on as few lives as possible

82. Have a neutral impact on even fewer lives

83. Become transiently infamous throughout the world

84. Write (though not necessarily publish) an extensive autobiography

85. Become qualified in psychiatry

86. Make a historical mark on the world

87. Learn how to wrap presents in a half-way decent manner

88. Have a piece of artwork made by me displayed in a famous gallery

89. Be there at a time when I’m needed

90. Learn basic handywork skills

91. Learn about basic car maintenance

92. Be instrumental in ending / preventing a war in a peaceful manner

93. Abseil down something big

94. Make an arch-enemy

95. Visit Times Sqaure on New Year’s Eve

96. Learn to play the Harmonica

97. Stay at a Disney theme park over Christmas

98. Go to the Olympics

99. ‘Astonish the World’

Well there we go, I made it…with a little help from my friends and several websites.

I’ll let you know when I’ve done them all!

Originally posted on The LBSC

This 87th post was filed under: Headliner.

Some recently published posts

La Sagrada Família / February 2020, 21 minutes long

What I’ve been reading this month / January 2020, 11 minutes long

The Tyne Pedestrian and Cycle Tunnels: eight years on / January 2020, 8 minutes long

What I’ve been reading this month / January 2020, 7 minutes long

Faber Stories / December 2019, 4 minutes long

Some random old posts

Feeling protected? / April 2006, 1 minute long

What kind of king will Charles III be? / November 2014, Less than a minute long

Campbell thinks it’s all over… / April 2005, Less than a minute long

Politcal amusement / December 2005, 2 minutes long

Half empty / January 2005, Less than a minute long

Black Archbishop appointed / June 2005, Less than a minute long

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