At about half eleven this morning, we had a power cut. Many house alarms went off. One is still going off , and I am beginning to have violent tendencies – or at least get a little angry.

Why do alarm manufacturers not include some kind of timer mechanism? I mean, is burglar Boris really going to hang around for three hours after the alarm has gone off? Is burglar Boris going to hang around for three hours even if there isn’t an alarm?

(Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have anything wrong with people named Boris per sé, I just wanted the alliteration and burglar Bob, burglar Ben and burglar Barney all sound…well…wrong).

There was nothing that particularly annoyed me at work yesterday. Amazing, though I put it down to the fact that I really didn’t care about anything yesterday. Though the thought of Sir Fat Tony running amock with a chainsaw festered somewhat . We’re still chronically short staffed (‘…we have no-one on DIY, Power Tools, Plumbing or Building today so if you could look after those as well as the wallpaper I’d be grateful…’) but I’m used to that. I still have little or no idea about anything I’m selling :

‘…I’m looking for an oogaboogawhatsit’
‘Follow me!’
‘Why are we going to the electrical section, I’d have though it was in plumbing’
‘Sorry?’
‘Oogaboogawhatsits – won’t they be in plumbing’
‘Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you asked for a light switch! Silly Me!…Now…Can you see one?’
‘Yes, they’re right here’
‘Oh, I didn’t see them there. I must be blind, they’re right in front of me!’
‘Do you think this’ll fit my oogaboogerer?’
‘I couldn’t be sure, really. Does it look about right’
‘Yes’
‘Take it then, you can always bring it back if it’s wrong’

I even had a customer ask me if I knew what the thing he was asking for was…
I said ‘Yes, it’s that erm…you know…you err…’ whilst gesticulating wildly.
‘It’s sticky plastic’ came the response.
‘That’s right, you can put it into words so much better than I can’

We even had a letter of complaint from someone who’d bought a sun lounger and couldn’t use it because it hadn’t been sunny. And someone came in to complain about not having all the bits for a gazebo he’d bought. Turned out that he had only taken one box, despite the clear ‘BOX 2 OF 2’ labelling.

But the point is, there was nothing which especially aggravated me. I wasn’t asked to do anything inherently pointless, and no customers had a go at me for things outside of my control . In fact, no customers had a go at me at all.

So, all in all, my hellish day at Hombase was more…purgatorial than hellish this week.

But that damn alarm is more than making up for things.

Originally posted on The LBSC