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Hold up! Before you read on, please read this...

This post was published more than 14 years ago

I keep old posts on the site because I often enjoy reading old content on other people's sites. Not everything that is old is bad. It can be interesting to see how views have changed over time: for example, how my strident teenage views have mellowed and matured.

But given the age of this post, please bear in mind:

  • My views might very well have changed in the 14 years since I wrote this post. I have written some very silly things over the years, many of which I find pretty embarrassing today.
  • This post might use language in ways which I would now consider highly inappropriate or offensive.
  • Factual information might be outdated.
  • Links might be broken; embedded material might not appear properly.

Okay. Consider yourself duly warned. Read on...

A summary of work yesterday through a series of customer induhvidual quotes, cow-orker quotes (Dilbert references, not typos) and one anecdote:

Induhvidual Quotes:

  • “This is ridiculous, I pay a pound for a trolley then have to take it all the way back to the trolley park?”
  • “You think your problems are bad? Imagine you’re a Siamese twin, your twin is gay, you’re not, he has a date tonight and you’ve only got one arse” (I’ll admit that I was somewhat unsure of how to respond to that, it was never covered in training)

Cow-orker Quotes:

  • “Hurry up or I’ll have to whip you with some scotia.” (I think I’m right in saying that Sir Fat Tony was a witness to that one)
  • “There’s a new drugs trend in Yorkshire of injecting directly into the mouth for a quicker hit. It’s been dubbed E-by-gum” (Funny in itself, but I don’t think he realised it was a joke till I laughed)
  • “I’m going home now. You’re not.”

Anecdote:

We had a letter of complaint. Somebody wrote to say that they came in and somebody followed them “smilling like a chaser cat [sic]”. They went on to say that when they got home, this “smilling” shop assistant was “flying above the gardon [sic]”. At least, that’s the general gist of it – it descended into indecipherable word lists in parts. This particular letter was from a former employee who went psyhco (literally) while working for us, and got fired after threatening staff with scissors as he thought he was going to be locked out of the shop. We now receive regular letters of complaint from him, as he wants ‘justice’ for being unfairly fired. Despite the fact that he’s mad. So next time I say that place drives me mad…well…maybe it’s true…

Originally posted on The LBSC

This 6th post was filed under: Homebase.

More posts worth reading

What I’ve been reading this month (published 3rd May 2018)

What I’ve been reading this month (published 1st April 2018)

World TB Day (published 24th March 2018)

Photo-a-day 21: Fog on the Thames (published 21st January 2014)

Government waste: Uncut (published 25th August 2006)

They’ve brought this back?! (published 15th February 2007)

I think Amazon’s Fire Phone is more about going after Android’s app store than it is about the hardware… (published 21st June 2014)


Comments and responses

Comment from clara


by clara

Comment posted at 11:47 on 12th January 2008.

er… i’m applying for a saturday job at homebase.


Comment from sjhoward (author of the post)


by sjhoward

Comment posted at 23:30 on 23rd January 2008.

I hope you know what you’re letting yourself in for 😉

Actually, all-in-all, it wasn’t too bad… just frustrating sometimes, much like many other jobs I suspect.

Anyway, I’d love it if you’d post back some time and let us know how you get on – how much has changed in the five or so years since I left?

And good luck in the new job, I wish you all the best!


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