It’s actually worrying how true this is. And it made me smile.

All we need now is to elect me as leader of the Conservative party. I’m not a Conservative, but Blair’s not a Labourite and that didn’t make much difference. I’d soon beat some sense into Mr Blair. Mr Howard does a reasonable job, until he decides to go into self-destruct mode, annoucing silly populist policies. I’d be much better. And my surname fits.