About me
About me

Bonsai Kittens


Hold up! Before you read on, please read this...

This post was published more than 14 years ago

I keep old posts on the site because I often enjoy reading old content on other people's sites. It can be interesting to see how views have changed over time: for example, how my strident teenage views have, to put it mildly, mellowed.

I'm not a believer in brushing the past under the carpet. I've written some offensive rubbish on here in the past: deleting it and pretending it never happened doesn't change that. I hope that stumbling across something that's 14 years old won't offend anyone anew, because I hope that people can understand that what I thought and felt and wrote about then is probably very different to what I think and feel and wrote about now. It's a relic of an (albeit recent) bygone era.

So, given the age of this post, please bear in mind:

  • My views may well have changed in the last 14 years. I have written some very silly things over the years, many of which I find utterly cringeworthy today.
  • This post might use words or language in ways which I would now consider highly inappropriate, offensive, embarrassing, or all three.
  • Factual information might be outdated.
  • Links might be broken, and embedded material might not appear properly.

Okay. Consider yourself duly warned. Read on...

At only a few weeks of age, a kitten’s bones have not yet hardened and become osseous. They are extremely soft and springy. In fact, if you take a week-old kitten and throw it to the floor, it will actually bounce! We do not recommend that you try this at home. The kitten may bounce under the furniture and be difficult to retrieve, as well as covered in unsightly household dust.

I came across bonsaikitten.com after a friend emailed me a petition against it. It’s an absolutely hilarious little site, and the fact that 443 people had signed the aforementioned petition worries me greatly. In case you don’t appreciate the humour, it is a joke, and no kittens were harmed in the making of it. So just enjoy it.

This 386th post was filed under: Headliner.

Some recently published posts

The Tyne Pedestrian and Cycle Tunnels: eight years on / January 2020, 8 minutes long

What I’ve been reading this month / January 2020, 7 minutes long

Faber Stories / December 2019, 4 minutes long

My favourite books of 2016 / December 2019, 26 minutes long

What I’ve been reading this month / December 2019, 12 minutes long

Some random old posts

Britain faces epidemic of mumps / February 2005, Less than a minute long

The day I met a Giant Panda called Bai Yun / May 2019, 3 minutes long

Rumsfeld / September 2004, Less than a minute long

Windows Live: What’s the point? / August 2006, 5 minutes long

RSSNewsTicker / February 2005, Less than a minute long

Dasani / March 2004, Less than a minute long

Comments and responses

Comment from Sophia

by Sophia

Comment posted at 11:44 on 23rd June 2005.

listen you little shit, it is not funny at all!!! cats should not be treated in this way, nor any other animals!!! the people who do this should be ridiculed with shame, and so should you. It’s torture, it’s murder, its fucking wrong!! How bout i shove you in a glass container and see who you like it you fucked up prick!!

Comment from sjhoward (author of the post)

by sjhoward

Comment posted at 11:53 on 23rd June 2005.

Well thanks for that. Once again, I’d point you to the fact that it’s not torture or murder, mainly because it’s not real. It’s a joke. A ha-ha. A funny. No cats have been shoved in little bottles – come on, dear, engage brain. Nobody has been forced into little bottles. The pictures on the site are taken from clever angles and photoshopped.

But, you know, thanks for the comments.

Comment from Engelbert Goldstein

by Engelbert Goldstein

Comment posted at 21:49 on 23rd June 2005.

I trust that Sophia is equally outraged and opposed to the ancient Japanese custom of binding women’s feet.

Of course sites like bonsaikittens.COM are animal exploitation sites and should immediately be reported to PETA.

Perhaps Sophia is a member of PETA, but surely such uncivil, unladylike language is not going to endear anybody to her cause.

Comment from Lydia

by Lydia

Comment posted at 19:23 on 26th January 2006.

u sick thing

Comment from sjhoward (author of the post)

by sjhoward

Comment posted at 16:07 on 27th January 2006.

Either you didn’t read the full post or the comments, you didn’t understand the fact that this was a joke, or you just think I have a sick sense of humour. I’m hoping its the latter.

Trackback from elsewhere on the site

Trackback received at 14:09 on 17th February 2006.

This post has been referenced by another on this site:
sjhoward.co.uk » The twelve funniest seconds of your day

Comment from mle

by mle

Comment posted at 18:35 on 10th March 2006.

guys this bonsai cat thing isnt true
but neway it is sick thta ne1 wud put this kin dof thing on the web to upset so many people
i personally dont see the funi side in ti nd i think it shud be taken away immediately

Comment from sjhoward (author of the post)

by sjhoward

Comment posted at 15:30 on 13th March 2006.

And, as ever, you are entitled to your opinion.

Comment from Pari

by Pari

Comment posted at 12:20 on 4th July 2006.

What is sick is that people get so upset about something that is an illusion, a manipulation of photography. You should all be getting really really upset about what is actually really happening to people at the hands of your democratically elected Western governments. That, boys and girls, is both real and truly sick

Comment from sjhoward (author of the post)

by sjhoward

Comment posted at 16:26 on 6th July 2006.

Very well said.

Comment from rach

by rach

Comment posted at 13:18 on 27th August 2006.

dis iz sik ow cud u do dis 2 livin things especially little kittens it dunt matta if der unharmd or wot they deserved to b treated lyk dis they do av feelings u no, n this iz apsulutely sik, i cnt belive u fink dis funny bcz its nt n if ya fink it iz den u r a sad arsehole ho needs 2 gt a lyf ow wud u lyk it if u wer forced 2 git into a jar or a bottle wen u wer younger if u wz i wud of laugh mi ead off bcz u deserve it nt dem poor little kittens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comment from sjhoward (author of the post)

by sjhoward

Comment posted at 17:00 on 27th August 2006.

if u iz abul 2 weed de info abuv, den u wd relize it iz nt reel, innit!!!!!!! if u cd spk inglish wen psting dat wd b gd 2!!!!!!!!1111111oneoneone

Comment from rebecca

by rebecca

Comment posted at 02:07 on 21st October 2007.

I came across this site.. and was wondering who made up that joke.. because i really dont see the humor in something like that. My little sister saw it, and was crying for days!!
I know it isnt real, but still.. that is a pretty sick joke.

Comment from cat barrier

by cat barrier

Comment posted at 03:01 on 20th May 2008.

Is this for real? Nice post! I will be saving this page to my favorites for sure.

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