SOCA (Serious Organised Crime Agency) has launched today. No doubt they’ll lock up all the naughty criminals, probably without trial. In fact, they might just start detaining people at birth, or killing everyone with a padded jacket. After all, from a flashy (expensive) looking press-room, Mr Blair annoucned they’re going to make life ‘hell’ for ‘Mr Bigs’. The easiest, most-efficient way to do this is to shoot or detain everyone who looks a little bit dodgy. So that’s probably what’ll happen.

And they have a fantastically New Labour target: “To reduce harm”. Prove they’ve suceeded or failed at that!

But what about all the criminals who aren’t serious? What about those who are just killing people for a bit of a laugh? They’re going to thrive! Poisonous custard-pie throwings a-go-go! I think the government have missed a trick… and made an appropriate acronym: After all, crime is all a bit of a political sport to Mr Blair.