The Southport Visiter: Reader Letters

This is, by far, the most entertaining section of the local paper (which suffers a masthead spelling impairment). I look forward to reading it, because it always provides a little humour on a Friday morning (except when I’m at university, and so don’t get to read it). The best of this week’s selections…

First off, the kind encouragement given to the local amateur dramatics society:

IT was a wonderful relief to read your theatre critic’s report on the latest play at the S.D.C.

For a terrible two and a half hours, I was beginning to wonder if my powers of concentration had deserted me, in an effort to follow and understand this production.

Thank you, I cancelled my appointment with the doctor and I feel quite well again, which is more than can be said for some of the recent plays produced at the Little Theatre.

If the play selection committee and some of the actors wish to see this theatre survive then they will have to ‘pull their socks up’ and be quick about it.

‘DISAPPOINTED’ Name and address supplied.

And secondly, the furious Margaret Wyatt has fired up the old pea-sea, because she really has to get this off her chest…

I RECEIVED an illegal penalty notice on Thursday for £30. I had a ticket in the window and was well within my time limit.

The penalty notice was stuffed down well under my screen wiper and wasn’t found until I reached home. If the wind had blown it away I would have known nothing about it until the summons. This in my opinion is “stealing.”

I have issued the Strata Security Co with my own invoice of £15 to pay for the phone calls, time spent in writing and photocopying and the recorded letter to them. I do intend to carry my threat out of Court Action if they do not pay.

Needless to say I won’t be visiting Southport again.

MARGARET WYATT, By email.

Let’s hope she’s calmed down a bit now. Southport really is the best place for hilarious local newspaper letters. You should come and visit just for that one reason. Some how, that got left out of The Guardian’s review of the town. And The Idler’s