Philip Cowley has an interesting take on the remaining Labour MPs over on the Guardian Election Blog – he points out that of the 356 Labour MPs remaining, 60 have rebel form from past votes – and Labour only has a 67 majority. It certainly will make for some interesting politics.

Andrew Brown also notes on the Helmintholog that the Guardian’s sale figures went up far more when reporting the death of an aging Pole than during the UK Election. Is this a mark of an over-reaction to the Pope’s death or a mark of a boring election campaign? Perhaps a touch of both.

I forgot to post this earlier in the week… The Community Placement, the report about which I was busily writing during ‘My Week‘, has been marked. As everything, it’s marked in three ‘strands’, all of which have to be passed at satisfactory level or better across the year as a whole. My Community Placement marks in each of the strands were: the doctor as a professional, in which I got a Merit; how the doctor approaches practice, in which I obtained a Satisfactory grade; and what the doctor is able to do, in which I gained a Merit.

So overall, I was very pleased with that outcome.

The interview between Jeremy Paxman and George Galloway which helped keep me awake for another couple of minutes back on Friday morning has made it onto the BBC website. It’s well worth watching, it you want to see someone who is clearly a prat demand to be congratulated on winning an electoral seat.

Also worth reading is The Friday Project‘s verdict on Michael Howard’s election strategy:

It’s been the political equivalent of the Shake and Vac adverts: artless and unsubtle, but even the biggest dunderhead can’t miss the point: do the Shake and Vac and put the freshness back. Or should that be ‘send ’em back’?

I don’t agree with their take, but nor do I agree with the BNP supporter also quoted in this week’s edition:

‘I’m tired of living this Orwellian nightmare. I’ll be damned if new labour [sic] are going to keep stamping on my face. Go get em [sic], BNP – Sue Croft, Spalding’

Orwellian nightmare? In Spalding, Lincolnshire? We checked the town’s website and it doesn’t look much like Airstrip One. We can only conclude that Sue is slightly prone to melodrama: ‘It’s like the film Zulu round here! By which I mean I once saw a black man innocuously walking down the road.’

But if I tell you all the best bits here, you won’t run off and subscribe, and then the Friday peeps won’t be happy with me. So run along and read their site, and subscribe to The Friday Thing.

You love your cat. You hate his litter tray. If only you could have one without the other.

Well actually, I don’t like cats or litter trays. But if you have a cat, you can now buy one of these. Joy of joys.

That’s a few loose ends cleared up for now…

I’ve now been blogging for two years. Scary. You can read my first post (originally from The LBSC) here, and last year’s anniversary post here. Since this is a fairly significant occasion (I guess), it seems appropriate to post an update to the ‘99 things I proposed a little over a year ago…

1. Qualify as a doctor
» I’m 20% closer, but by no means there as of yet.

2. Do a parachute jump
» Not yet done, and no immediate plans

3. Go paragliding
» Also not yet done, and no immediate plans

4. Make a billion
» I’d like to say I’m close… but I’m not

5. Lose a million
» Thankfully, not too close

6. Write a textbook
» I typed my first year notes up and bound them appropriately, so that’s not a million miles away. But I don’t think it counts.

7. Write a bestselling novel
» Nope

8. Visit all seven continents
» I haven’t visited any more continents than I had this time last year. Nor, indeed, any more countries.

9. Drive / Be driven across America
» No plans

10. Drive / Be driven across Australia
» Again, no plans

11. Visit the poorest parts of Africa
» I watched Comic Relief. Not quite the same, though, methinks.

12. Visit the richest parts of America
» I watch The West Wing. Not quite the same, though, methinks.

13. Meet a US President
» I may have met a future US President… who can tell?

14. Complete a marathon
» I did the Flora Family Marathon. But it’s not quite what I envisaged when writing that aim. So it doesn’t count.

15. Give a million away
» I haven’t got a million!

16. Go in to space
» Some people say I spend most of my time on another planet…

17. Pay someone to cook and clean for me
» Not as of yet

18. Invent or discover something revolutionary
» Erm… no.

19. Be the Time ‘Person of the Year’
» I was one of ABC News World News Tonight‘s People of the Year. But not Time Person of the Year. Yet.

20. Win an Oscar / Bafta / Booker Prize / Nobel Prize or similar
» I’m not aware that I’ve done this yet.

21. Visit one / both of the Poles
» Not yet

22. Fly a plane
» Not even close.

23. Make a fire the old-fashioned way
» Haven’t tried

24. Own several houses
» Don’t even own one.

25. Make something useful
» papercdcase.com helps me do this regularly, but, again, it’s not quite what I had in mind.

26. Go on a rock star rampage
» Sadly not.

27. Get completely lost
» I did have great difficulty finding Tesco in Stockton (or more accurately, finding Durham Road). But I got there eventually. And I was never ‘completely’ lost.

28. Own a log cabin
» It’s not exactly on the to-do list.

29. Star in a wildly successful TV series
» Unless I’m the subject of some freaky reality show, then I’ve not done this.

30. Release a wildly successful single
» Nope.

31. Be a guest voice on ‘The Simpsons’
» They haven’t invited me yet.

32. Go through the ‘Basket’ till with a trolley full of goods separated into many different transactions
» I haven’t yet chosen to do this

33. Pull off a hoax that is reported as truth in a national newspaper
» No

34. Plant a tree
» Again, no

35. Live completely alone for a month or so
» Not yet

36. Stage a ‘punctuation crusade’
» I added an apostrophe to a poster that was missing one on the medicine noticeboard. But that’s about it.

37. Become a highly influential politician
» I blog about politics. But I don’t think I’m at all influential. And I’m no politician.

38. Become a regular columnist in a national newspaper
» Er – no.

39. Present a highly successful radio show
» You see, if I really wanted to do this, I could set up an internet station. But it’s not something that’s top of my list right now.

40. Find a hat that doesn’t make me look stupid
» I haven’t found a hat.

41. Own a house with an indoor swimming pool
» I don’t own a house

42. Travel in a submarine
» Again, no.

43. Go on a cruise
» Nope.

44. Live on a houseboat
» I’ve only been on one boat this year. And it wasn’t a houseboat. And I didn’t live on it.

45. Get married [provided I find the perfect partner]
» Err… No.

46. Drive / Fly around the country / world, visiting a different branch of McDonalds each day
» Nope.

47. Live in a foreign country (where English is not the predominant spoken language)
» Again – no.

48. Relearn Latin
» A medical degree is practically a Latin degree. But again, not quite what I imagined.

49. Have a home that is fitted entirely with a Home Automation System
» No

50. Help someone in desperate need
» I haven’t done this on a personal level.

51. Eliminate early mornings
» Sadly not

52. Travel first class. Everywhere.
» Again, no.

53. Achieve a world record
» Haven’t even tried.

54. Have a portfolio of highly successful businesses
» I don’t have even a single business

55. Teach
» Nope

56. Save a life (Hopefully more than one)
» Not directly

57. Read all the books I own
» I now have more unread books than I did last year!

58. Have more time to read the newspapers
» Not as much as I’d like

59. Employ a Personal Assistant
» Not as yet

60. Stage a ‘grammar crusade’
» Nope

61. See a total solar eclipse
» Again, no. Although I did see one on telly a few years back.

62. See a total lunar eclipse
» Nope

63. Visit Greece
» No

64. Take a tour of the White House
» Sadly not

65. Own the complete Oxford English Dictionary
» Not yet

66. Take part in a successful campaign to have Sport News removed from main News Bulletins, except for special events
» Haven’t tried, and haven’t even really moaned about it.

67. Appear on Newsnight in person
» I appeared on the Newsnight website… but still not quite what I was after

68. Write a Will
» No

69. Appear on Question Time in person (as part of the panel)
» Nope

70. Stage a successful series of concerts
» Strangely, no-one’s asked me to.

71. Make a difference
» Too vague to really say whether I’ve done it or not.

72. Plan my own funeral
» Nope.

73. Be transiently world famous
» No.

74. Own a Segway Human Transporter
» Not sure I really want one any more…

75. Sit on a jury
» Nah.

76. Buy an obscene number of Toasted Marshmallow Jelly Beans
» Haven’t even bought a single one.

77. Travel in a Hot Air Balloon
» No.

78. Present an award
» Nope.

79. Employ a butler
» Not yet.

80. Have a positive impact on as many lives as possible
» Again, too woolly.

81. Have a negative impact on as few lives as possible
» See 80.

82. Have a neutral impact on even fewer lives
» See 81.

83. Become transiently infamous throughout the world
» Nope.

84. Write (though not necessarily publish) an extensive autobiography
» The Learning Portfolio I did was vaguely autobiographical, though I wouldn’t call it extensive.

85. Become qualified in psychiatry
» Nope.

86. Make a historical mark on the world
» Who can say?

87. Learn how to wrap presents in a half-way decent manner
» Haven’t tried.

88. Have a piece of artwork made by me displayed in a famous gallery
» Depends what you call a famous gallery – is not the internet the most famous gallery of all?

89. Be there at a time when I’m needed
» Woolly.

90. Learn basic handywork skills
» Don’t really know what I had in mind here.

91. Learn about basic car maintenance
» Well, possibly I know the very basics. Again, not sure what I was thinking.

92. Be instrumental in ending / preventing a war in a peaceful manner
» Not that I know of.

93. Abseil down something big
» Nope.

94. Make an arch-enemy
» Haven’t really tried – possibly a good thing.

95. Visit Times Sqaure on New Year’s Eve
» No.

96. Learn to play the Harmonica
» Don’t know why I wanted to do that!

97. Stay at a Disney theme park over Christmas
» Nope.

98. Go to the Olympics
» Didn’t go, but did watch them on the box.

99. ‘Astonish the World’
» It’s not really for me to say…

So the progress so far is not exactly stunning. Will I be any further along by this time next year? Doubt it, but we’ll see.

With two seats left to declare, let’s revisit my predictions…

Labour: I said Tony would walk away with 370-380 seats. I was wrong. He’s only got 355. This may have been a mistake on my part, but it’s a mistake that cheers me a little. All I wanted was a party with a small majority, and Mr Blair has had his majority halved. I’d still have liked it a little lower, but you can’t have everything.

Conservative: I said 185-195. They’ve got 197. So I wasn’t exactly a million miles out. They’ve not done stunningly well in overall share, but they have gained an awful lot of seats, and it’ll be quite sad to see Mickey Howard go.

Lib Dem: I said 60-70. They’re on 62. I couldn’t have been much more right on that one, then. I’m disappointed that Charlie didn’t make bigger gains, but never mind.

Swing: The magic formula predicted a swing of 2.25% to the Conservatives, which I said was probably an underestimate. It’s come out at 3%. So the magic formula wasn’t exactly magic after all, but c’est la vie.

Looking at the results and their aftermath, a couple of things bother me:

Firstly, there was less than 3% between Labour and the Conservatives in the popular vote, and yet Labour have 158 more seats. That doesn’t seem right, and surely screams of an electoral system in desperate need of reform. The problem is exactly how to reform the system, but I’m sure someone much more intelligent than me can come up with a way.

Secondly, I can’t believe that Mr Blair has let David Blunkett back into the cabinet. Is there anyone in the cabinet who’s not formerly been disgraced? For a Prime Minister roundly criticised for not taking responsiblity for his actions, this seems like a deeply cynical move after just taking an electoral bashing. I’m also far from wild about the idea of John Reid as defence secretary – he can’t even speak to an interviewer without launching into a huge conflict – heaven help us if he talks to other nations.

The most disappointing thing for me is that my local MP has been re-elected, albeit with a reduced majority. We’ve never exactly seen eye-to-eye.

So, on the whole, a better result that I’d predicted, but not exactly what I was hoping for. At least, though, Labour’s majority was low enough to make the next few months interesting, as the questions begin to be asked about Mr Blair. And who will succeed Mr Howard? The election may be over, but the fun is just beginning.

Predictions have been made, campaigns have come to an end, and counting will shortly begin on the only poll that matters. Blogs about blogs are starting to pick up on the trends (though the one I’ve linked to is particularly fascinating, as it features a graph which colours TB yellow, MH blue, and CK red – a sign?) shown by blogs from around the country.

And all we can do is watch and wait with Dimbleby and Snow…

I fully understand why some people will find Google Web Accelerator scary… after all, you are effectively routing all of your surfing through Google’s servers, which gives them an enormous amount of information about you. But it’s very useful, and given how many people already know about almost every aspect of my life anyway, I have no problem with Google knowing a little more about me. So I’m using it. And recommending that you do too.

Edit: I’ve stopped using it again now – read through the comments to see why, paying particular attention here.

Today’s swing figure:

» 2.25% swing to the Conservatives «

It’s my final update! The graph on the right shows the swing figure as it has fluctuated over the past twenty-eight days. There are four new polls today: ICM/Guardian on 38/32, NOP/Independent on 36/33, Populus/Times 38/32, and YouGov/Telegraph on 37/32. They all agree that there is a Labour lead, but they are also rather more muted leads than we’ve seen published over the last few days, which has obivously given the Conservatives a bit of a boost in today’s figure. The Lib Dems are certainly flying high, which is a good thing.

Looking back, it’s quite incredible how badly the Conservative campaign has gone – right at the beginning, we looked like we were heading towards a hung Parliament, and as they have told us more about themselves, the polls have clearly plummetted – or, rather, the Labour vote has grown whilst the Tories have been pretty close to flat-lining.

The magic formula’s current swing figure is suggestive of a Labour majority of around 120ish. My official prediction, however, defies this…

I predict that around 370-380 seats will be won by Labour (a loss of about 30, majority of roughtly 100 to 110), 185 to 195 for the Tories (gain fo about 25), and 60-70 for the Lib Dems (gain of around 15).

That’s my prediction… Come back on Friday to laugh at how wrong I am!

The fact that parts of this game are so tricky epitomises why many people are disinterested in politics: Politicians, take note.

An amazing revelation from today’s Independent:

They enjoy quiet nights at home and view their parents as friends. Welcome to the world of today’s “mild child” teenagers.

It turns out that not all teenagers are binge-drinking antisocial idiots, but that the vast majority are normal, reasonable human beings.

Perhaps someone should tell the Daily Mail (current top story on their website: Posh and Becks fail to smile whilst strolling through St Mark’s Sqaure surrounded by paparazzi), who prefer quotes like “Teenagers [posess] pea-sized brains”, “Teenagers are mentally challenged” and “Oral sex drive for teenagers”. That’s when they’re not talking about teenage pregnancy, and simultaneously criticising those who have abortions and those who don’t, and thus become teenage parents. And they say Labour has no coherent policies on anything.