UFOs do not exist. It is official. The minutes of the Ministry of Defence’s Flying Saucer Working Party of 1961 were published yesterday. In the earthbound prose of official reports, they recommend no more public money should be spent on chasing UFOs.

Well who’d have thunk it? Little green men aren’t visiting us on a regular basis after all. That’s really put my mind at rest, because, as I’m sure we all have, I’ve had many sleepless nights wondering about the possibilities of being abducted by aliens.

I’m not sure this will cheer up all of those UFOlogists (what a job!) who’ve been clamouring for the release of these papers though, claiming a huge coverup was in place because Tony Blair and George Bush were in league with the Zorgons from Mars.

This really isn’t the kind if leader I expect to see in The Times. The Daily Star, maybe, but The Times, no.