UFOs do not exist. It is official. The minutes of the Ministry of Defence’s Flying Saucer Working Party of 1961 were published yesterday. In the earthbound prose of official reports, they recommend no more public money should be spent on chasing UFOs.

Well who’d have thunk it? Little green men aren’t visiting us on a regular basis after all. That’s really put my mind at rest, because, as I’m sure we all have, I’ve had many sleepless nights wondering about the possibilities of being abducted by aliens.

I’m not sure this will cheer up all of those UFOlogists (what a job!) who’ve been clamouring for the release of these papers though, claiming a huge coverup was in place because Tony Blair and George Bush were in league with the Zorgons from Mars.

This really isn’t the kind if leader I expect to see in The Times. The Daily Star, maybe, but The Times, no.

A very good friend of mine has decided to take some time out from the medical course for the time being. Discussing this decision, my friends and I came to the conclusion that people who have not previously experienced a medical degree course do not appreciate quite how intense it is. So, in something of a departure from my normal blogging activities, I’m going to try and post a detailed blog of what I do during each hour of each day for the next week, starting a midnight just passed. I will upload a new post for each day, with my activities for each hour listed. This could, of course, backfire horrifically and make me realise that I actually spend an awful lot of time dossing about, but at least that will make me feel more relaxed. So keep an eye out for these special posts, or click on the category “Week in My Life” to see only these posts as they are added. And I offer my apologies in advance if I get fed up with this idea before the week’s out!

The PetsCell uses the same technology as conventional mobile phones but is shaped like a bone and attached to the dog’s collar. Whenever an owner needs to speak to their dog they can dial the number and the phone connects automatically after the first ring.

The dog is able to hear the owner through the speaker on the phone and can bark in response.

This, surely, serves only to define who has too much money.

By way of an update on my earlier post, I just thought I should blog this article.

As much as I condemn the pouring of slurry over public figures, or indeed public idiots, I think Kilroy has somewhat oversold his case:

As a result of an unprovoked attack, I am now very apprehensive about future public appearances and worried about my personal safety.

I dread to think what the consequences could have been if the person had been in possession of a knife or other lethal weapon.

My wife and daughter have been extremely upset about the incident and my wife is considering ‘risk assessment’ to reduce the risk of future incidents occurring.

If he worries that much over a bit of poo, I really hope he doesn’t get into any serious political power. He clearly has no sense of proportion. And I can’t believe that my 300th post has been spent commenting on this wally.

I’m going to go out on a limb, here, and suggest that this will fail miserably, because of this condition:

However, users may not be keen – if at any point they decide to stop paying the monthly subscription to their provider, they’re left with no access to any of the songs in their library or on their music player.

The idea that I have to continue to pay someone for the rest of my life to listen to the music I’ve downloaded is certainly a turn-off for me.

My favourite download site of the moment is Easy Music, by Stelios. It has a very simple pricing structure, and very simple DRM conditions. I suggest you check it out.

Downloads clearly are the future of the music industry, but I’m certain that pay-as-you-go services will be more popular than subscription services.

I’m sure I shouldn’t be as excited as I am about this:

Captain Scarlet is returning to TV in an “all-new” version — ie no strings and lots of CGI. The Mysterons, and all the colour-coordinated Captains are all still there though… Starts on the about 10.25am, Saturday 12 February, ITV1.

I’m not too sure about the idea of it being in CGI, and so I think I might be disappointed. But we’ll have to wait and see, I suppose.

This Guardian piece hits very close to home at the moment. If I hear this on my voicemail again, I think I’ll scream:

Hi there. My name is David Williams. I’m calling you because one of my colleagues has been trying to get hold of you because someone in your household entered our draw last year and we’ve been trying to let you know you’ve won a major prize.

I didn’t think anyone would be silly enough to actually call them back, though. Obviously I’ve misjudged the great British public once again.

According to a new study, adults are better web surfers than teens. That’s a pretty bold claim, but I see a big flaw in the study before I even got to reading it. The summary on the Guardian’s Onlineblog provides all the info I need:

Teens ages 13 to 17 were able to complete assigned tasks on the Web 55 percent of the time, compared with 66 percent for adults, according to Nielsen Norman in Fremont, a firm known for studying how consumers use technology.

Surely the relative success of the two groups depends on the tasks set for them? Especially since teens are likely to use the internet for a much narrower range of things than adults.

I could have download the report and read what the various tasks were, but being a teenager (let me enjoy it for the few weeks I have left) I didn’t have the attention span necessary.

I do hope that the Pope will recover from his current ill health. As much as I disagree with almost everything he says, I still have the upmost respect for someone who can have such amazingly strong faith. It sounds critical to say that someone has faith despite clear scientific evidence against their beliefs (just as the Pope believes that condoms do not prevent HIV transmission), and yet, in actual fact, that is a truly amazing feat for such an intelligent and learned man.

How many people believe in things only up until the point that modern science proves them wrong? The vast majority. It takes something very special to overlook scientific progress, and still stick to your beliefs. In some cases, it can be due to a lack of education and a certain amount of brain-washing, but the Pope is certainly not uneducated, which suggests he has a phenomenal, unwavering faith.

As much as I disagree with his ideas on condom use and gay marriage, I still find some people’s comments on many internet forums (such as this one) most disturbing:

Yeah but this is a man who’s done almost as much damage to the world as Hitler, so we’d be better off without him. By his insistence on Catholics not using condoms he’s sentenced millions to death through AIDS.

How can anyone even begin to compare someone suggesting what those who choose to be members of a religion may like to do in their daily lives to genocide? As many times as I read that quotation, it still shocks me.

The Pope is an amazing man, and I hope he recovers fully and expediently.

So Kilroy-Silk promises surprises with his new party? It’ll be composed entirely of trans-sexuals who are having affairs with homosexual dwarves? That’s the kind of person he’d be used to, after all his TV work.

How can he possibly beleive that this little party of his is ever going to get anywhere? He’s a delusional fool. But I’ll be watching the party launch (if anybody’s showing it) for the comedy value.

Now I’m off to watch PMQs.