An extract from a typically hilarious piece from little.red.boat:

Why would I buy sausages? Because if I buy sausages, there is growing evidence that beginning to cook them will summon the vigilante CGI deathdog, who will perform some random act of humilation-based sado-sexual act on me, while my loved ones stand idly by.

Click here to read the full post.

Some people would say that stories like that of Laura Krishna are cruel and unnecessary (indeed, some of the people commenting on that post appear to think so), but if these cases help in the fight against internet plagiarism then it can only be good news… though it’s not something that I’d do, personally, and perhaps it was not helpful to paste her full name and university on the internet, since this can only lead to over-zealous netizens causing undue unhappiness. Laura’s saga continues here, and ends here.

Update: 17th April 2006
It’s a little over a year since I posted this, but anyway…
The pages have moved, so I’ve updated the links above. Also, since the above was posted, A Week of Kindness have done three further follow-ups: Here, here, and here. Hope this helps someone!

Introducing my country, a small nation in the Pacific. As I tackle various challenging issues raised by my citizens, the country will develop, and you can monitor its progress via the link on the sidebar.

Today, for example, I was asked to legislate in response to the following:

In response to a slow news week, certain highbrow newspapers have stirred up the debate over voluntary vs compulsory voting.

I don’t like the idea of compulsory voting because it removes a degree of freedom. If people wish to express the view that they do not wish to express a view, then they should be allowed to do so. The democratic process should be open to all, not forced upon people. Refusal to engage with the democratic process is just as important a standpoint as being all gung-ho in support of a political party.

Whether or not people should be forced to express their view, as under the Aussie system, is a more contentious issue, but I’m still against it as I don’t think it’s necessarily right to force people to express their views. Plus, it would cause chaos for those who would have difficulty doing so.

I, therefore, decided that voting should be voluntary, and so my government will enforce this law overnight. I will be presented with a new dilemma tomorrow. And so the country will develop.

It made me laugh…

Censorship of TV programmes around the world is always interesting to read about. But this seems a little harsh:

The Swedes can settle down with Helga And Heidi Do The Vacuuming Inexplicably Naked III safe in the knowledge that they are unlikely to be put off their stroke by a commercial for My Little Pony – all television advertising aimed at children under 12 is banned in Sweden (except if the programme is on so late that no children are likely to be watching).

At the other end of the scale:

A country as repressive as Saudi Arabia has to do something pretty special in the censorship department to attract attention, and they cracked it in 2001 by banning all manifestations of the Pokémon craze, including the television programme, on the grounds that the symbols used by the mono-dimensional creatures included the Star of David… The mind boggles at what they must have made of Teletubbies.

Though
Plough
Through
Thorough
Enough
Cough
Lough
Middlesbrough

You have to feel sorry for people trying to learn English.

My 400th post. That is incredibly scary. How have I ever found the time to write all this junk?

Anyway, here are some pictures from Ian Britton’s blog of this place I call my second home (Stockton) in the snow, as it was last Sunday. When I was trying to drive here. Which consequently took much, much longer than usual. Lucky me.

Well, it was something a little bit different for the big 400.

Choose your favourite breakfast, and download it as a wallpaper. And intriguing idea, but sadly useless to me as there isn’t a Honey Loops with Semi-skimmed milk option.

At only a few weeks of age, a kitten’s bones have not yet hardened and become osseous. They are extremely soft and springy. In fact, if you take a week-old kitten and throw it to the floor, it will actually bounce! We do not recommend that you try this at home. The kitten may bounce under the furniture and be difficult to retrieve, as well as covered in unsightly household dust.

I came across bonsaikitten.com after a friend emailed me a petition against it. It’s an absolutely hilarious little site, and the fact that 443 people had signed the aforementioned petition worries me greatly. In case you don’t appreciate the humour, it is a joke, and no kittens were harmed in the making of it. So just enjoy it.

A woman who has attempted suicide four times has been banned from jumping into rivers, canals or onto railway lines.

Doesn’t a woman who’s tried to commit suicide four times need some psychological help – not an ABSO? And I don’t suppose that legally preventing her form jumping in rivers will stop her trying to kill herself, since I don’t expect that she think’s she’ll survive to be prosecuted.