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Cheney’s victim has MI

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Hold up! Before you read on, please read this...

This post was published more than 12 years ago

I keep old posts on the site because I often enjoy reading old content on other people's sites. Not everything that is old is bad. It can be interesting to see how views have changed over time: for example, how my strident teenage views have mellowed and matured.

But given the age of this post, please bear in mind:

  • My views might very well have changed in the 12 years since I wrote this post. I have written some very silly things over the years, many of which I find pretty embarrassing today.
  • This post might use language in ways which I would now consider highly inappropriate or offensive.
  • Factual information might be outdated.
  • Links might be broken; embedded material might not appear properly.

Okay. Consider yourself duly warned. Read on...

The person US Vice President Dick Cheney shot the other day has now had a heart attack. Which tends to suggest that ‘peppered’ shouldn’t have been the adjective of choice. Perhaps a word with a bit more force behind it – may ‘gunned down’ – might have been more appropriate. Who’s to say?

Anyway, as you’d expect, Jon Stewart’s been covering the incident in some detail. Given that we only get The Daily Show the day after it’s broadcast in the US, here’s what he had to say on the incident:

Stewart: Rob, obviously a very unfortunate situation. How is the vice president handling it?

Corddry: Jon, tonight the vice president is standing by his decision to shoot Harry Whittington. According to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at the time there were quail in the brush. And while the quail turned out to be a 78-year-old man, even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr. Whittington in the face. He believes the world is a better place for his spreading buckshot throughout the entire region of Mr. Whittington’s face.

Stewart: But why, Rob? If he had known Mr. Whittington was not a bird, why would he still have shot him?

Corddry: Jon, in a post-9/11 world, the American people expect their leaders to be decisive. To not have shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak.

Stewart: That’s horrible.

Corddry: Look, the mere fact that we’re even talking about how the vice president drives up with his rich friends in cars to shoot farm-raised wingless quail-tards is letting the quail know “how” we’re hunting them. I’m sure right now those birds are laughing at us in that little “covey” of theirs.

Stewart: I’m not sure birds can laugh, Rob.

Corddry: Well, whatever it is they do — coo — they’re cooing at us right now, Jon, because here we are talking openly about our plans to hunt them. Jig is up. Quails one, America zero.

Fantastic.

This 823rd post was filed under: News and Comment.

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World TB Day (published 24th March 2018)

Government defeated. Again. And again. (published 31st January 2006)

Reform of the Parliament Act (published 7th November 2005)

The Apprentice: Legoland Edition (published 2nd April 2008)

Gay conversion: Might the CMF have a point? (published 17th May 2013)


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