A summary of work yesterday through a series of customer induhvidual quotes, cow-orker quotes (Dilbert references, not typos) and one anecdote:

Induhvidual Quotes:

• “This is ridiculous, I pay a pound for a trolley then have to take it all the way back to the trolley park?”
• “You think your problems are bad? Imagine you’re a Siamese twin, your twin is gay, you’re not, he has a date tonight and you’ve only got one arse” (I’ll admit that I was somewhat unsure of how to respond to that, it was never covered in training)

Cow-orker Quotes:

• “Hurry up or I’ll have to whip you with some scotia.” (I think I’m right in saying that Sir Fat Tony was a witness to that one)
• “There’s a new drugs trend in Yorkshire of injecting directly into the mouth for a quicker hit. It’s been dubbed E-by-gum” (Funny in itself, but I don’t think he realised it was a joke till I laughed)
• “I’m going home now. You’re not.”

Anecdote:

We had a letter of complaint. Somebody wrote to say that they came in and somebody followed them “smilling like a chaser cat [sic]”. They went on to say that when they got home, this “smilling” shop assistant was “flying above the gardon [sic]”. At least, that’s the general gist of it – it descended into indecipherable word lists in parts. This particular letter was from a former employee who went psyhco (literally) while working for us, and got fired after threatening staff with scissors as he thought he was going to be locked out of the shop. We now receive regular letters of complaint from him, as he wants ‘justice’ for being unfairly fired. Despite the fact that he’s mad. So next time I say that place drives me mad…well…maybe it’s true…

Originally posted on The LBSC