As I’ve previously told you (weren’t you listening?!), I have a fairly unhealthy obsession with Su Doku. It’s becoming so much of a national obsession that it’s even featured on Richard and Judy. While I was washing up today, something in my slightly disturbed mind obviously connected this with my recent bordering-on-philosophical comments.

Here’s what popped into my mind: I enjoy Su Doku. The part I enjoy most is the satisfaction of having completed the puzzle. The logical conclusion of this is that I would be happiest with a book of prefilled Su Dokus. But, of course, this misses the point: The completion is only enjoyable as a result of the prior frustration of being unable to solve said puzzle.

So, if the majority of the world’s religions promise that we’ll live happily for eternity, wouldn’t the people in that place be incredibly bored and, ultimately depressed? If they’re all already as happy as they can possibly be, then they have nothing to strive for, nothing to work towards, and nothing to live for. What’s the point of living forever if you’ve nothing to acheive in that time?

Surely a much better place to be would be hell, where you could always have aspirations of having a slightly less hellish time? You’d have something to work towards, each day would have a purpose, and eternal life would have much greater significance and meaning.

Just a thought, straight from my head to yours.

One of the stories which dominated this site earlier in the year has finally reached a resolution: The good people at Ofcom have taken a proper objective look at the Opera, and decided that the BBC were right to screen it. Hurrah for sanity!

Going off now at something of a tangent, the more I learn about death, and the more I listen to cases of people who are dying, the less I like the idea of Christianity. What’s the point in life if it goes on forever? Surely it’s much more special and valuable if you only get your three score years and ten? Besides which, isn’t it far more beautiful as an idea that you simply return from ashes to ashes, and complete the natural cycle of life, returning to the earth and nature, rather than some fanciful idea that you ascend to an effectively pointless eternal life?

And doesn’t evolution – the idea that by pure chance, nature has produced an species with the ability to philosophise – make life far more precious than it simply being the result of some deity’s day-job?

I know which belief I prefer. But that’s not to say it’s any better than anybody else’s.

I’ve now been blogging for two years. Scary. You can read my first post (originally from The LBSC) here, and last year’s anniversary post here. Since this is a fairly significant occasion (I guess), it seems appropriate to post an update to the ‘99 things I proposed a little over a year ago…

1. Qualify as a doctor
» I’m 20% closer, but by no means there as of yet.

2. Do a parachute jump
» Not yet done, and no immediate plans

3. Go paragliding
» Also not yet done, and no immediate plans

4. Make a billion
» I’d like to say I’m close… but I’m not

5. Lose a million
» Thankfully, not too close

6. Write a textbook
» I typed my first year notes up and bound them appropriately, so that’s not a million miles away. But I don’t think it counts.

7. Write a bestselling novel
» Nope

8. Visit all seven continents
» I haven’t visited any more continents than I had this time last year. Nor, indeed, any more countries.

9. Drive / Be driven across America
» No plans

10. Drive / Be driven across Australia
» Again, no plans

11. Visit the poorest parts of Africa
» I watched Comic Relief. Not quite the same, though, methinks.

12. Visit the richest parts of America
» I watch The West Wing. Not quite the same, though, methinks.

13. Meet a US President
» I may have met a future US President… who can tell?

14. Complete a marathon
» I did the Flora Family Marathon. But it’s not quite what I envisaged when writing that aim. So it doesn’t count.

15. Give a million away
» I haven’t got a million!

16. Go in to space
» Some people say I spend most of my time on another planet…

17. Pay someone to cook and clean for me
» Not as of yet

18. Invent or discover something revolutionary
» Erm… no.

19. Be the Time ‘Person of the Year’
» I was one of ABC News World News Tonight‘s People of the Year. But not Time Person of the Year. Yet.

20. Win an Oscar / Bafta / Booker Prize / Nobel Prize or similar
» I’m not aware that I’ve done this yet.

21. Visit one / both of the Poles
» Not yet

22. Fly a plane
» Not even close.

23. Make a fire the old-fashioned way
» Haven’t tried

24. Own several houses
» Don’t even own one.

25. Make something useful
» papercdcase.com helps me do this regularly, but, again, it’s not quite what I had in mind.

26. Go on a rock star rampage
» Sadly not.

27. Get completely lost
» I did have great difficulty finding Tesco in Stockton (or more accurately, finding Durham Road). But I got there eventually. And I was never ‘completely’ lost.

28. Own a log cabin
» It’s not exactly on the to-do list.

29. Star in a wildly successful TV series
» Unless I’m the subject of some freaky reality show, then I’ve not done this.

30. Release a wildly successful single
» Nope.

31. Be a guest voice on ‘The Simpsons’
» They haven’t invited me yet.

32. Go through the ‘Basket’ till with a trolley full of goods separated into many different transactions
» I haven’t yet chosen to do this

33. Pull off a hoax that is reported as truth in a national newspaper
» No

34. Plant a tree
» Again, no

35. Live completely alone for a month or so
» Not yet

36. Stage a ‘punctuation crusade’
» I added an apostrophe to a poster that was missing one on the medicine noticeboard. But that’s about it.

37. Become a highly influential politician
» I blog about politics. But I don’t think I’m at all influential. And I’m no politician.

38. Become a regular columnist in a national newspaper
» Er – no.

39. Present a highly successful radio show
» You see, if I really wanted to do this, I could set up an internet station. But it’s not something that’s top of my list right now.

40. Find a hat that doesn’t make me look stupid
» I haven’t found a hat.

41. Own a house with an indoor swimming pool
» I don’t own a house

42. Travel in a submarine
» Again, no.

43. Go on a cruise
» Nope.

44. Live on a houseboat
» I’ve only been on one boat this year. And it wasn’t a houseboat. And I didn’t live on it.

45. Get married [provided I find the perfect partner]
» Err… No.

46. Drive / Fly around the country / world, visiting a different branch of McDonalds each day
» Nope.

47. Live in a foreign country (where English is not the predominant spoken language)
» Again – no.

48. Relearn Latin
» A medical degree is practically a Latin degree. But again, not quite what I imagined.

49. Have a home that is fitted entirely with a Home Automation System
» No

50. Help someone in desperate need
» I haven’t done this on a personal level.

51. Eliminate early mornings
» Sadly not

52. Travel first class. Everywhere.
» Again, no.

53. Achieve a world record
» Haven’t even tried.

54. Have a portfolio of highly successful businesses
» I don’t have even a single business

55. Teach
» Nope

56. Save a life (Hopefully more than one)
» Not directly

57. Read all the books I own
» I now have more unread books than I did last year!

58. Have more time to read the newspapers
» Not as much as I’d like

59. Employ a Personal Assistant
» Not as yet

60. Stage a ‘grammar crusade’
» Nope

61. See a total solar eclipse
» Again, no. Although I did see one on telly a few years back.

62. See a total lunar eclipse
» Nope

63. Visit Greece
» No

64. Take a tour of the White House
» Sadly not

65. Own the complete Oxford English Dictionary
» Not yet

66. Take part in a successful campaign to have Sport News removed from main News Bulletins, except for special events
» Haven’t tried, and haven’t even really moaned about it.

67. Appear on Newsnight in person
» I appeared on the Newsnight website… but still not quite what I was after

68. Write a Will
» No

69. Appear on Question Time in person (as part of the panel)
» Nope

70. Stage a successful series of concerts
» Strangely, no-one’s asked me to.

71. Make a difference
» Too vague to really say whether I’ve done it or not.

72. Plan my own funeral
» Nope.

73. Be transiently world famous
» No.

74. Own a Segway Human Transporter
» Not sure I really want one any more…

75. Sit on a jury
» Nah.

76. Buy an obscene number of Toasted Marshmallow Jelly Beans
» Haven’t even bought a single one.

77. Travel in a Hot Air Balloon
» No.

78. Present an award
» Nope.

79. Employ a butler
» Not yet.

80. Have a positive impact on as many lives as possible
» Again, too woolly.

81. Have a negative impact on as few lives as possible
» See 80.

82. Have a neutral impact on even fewer lives
» See 81.

83. Become transiently infamous throughout the world
» Nope.

84. Write (though not necessarily publish) an extensive autobiography
» The Learning Portfolio I did was vaguely autobiographical, though I wouldn’t call it extensive.

85. Become qualified in psychiatry
» Nope.

86. Make a historical mark on the world
» Who can say?

87. Learn how to wrap presents in a half-way decent manner
» Haven’t tried.

88. Have a piece of artwork made by me displayed in a famous gallery
» Depends what you call a famous gallery – is not the internet the most famous gallery of all?

89. Be there at a time when I’m needed
» Woolly.

90. Learn basic handywork skills
» Don’t really know what I had in mind here.

91. Learn about basic car maintenance
» Well, possibly I know the very basics. Again, not sure what I was thinking.

92. Be instrumental in ending / preventing a war in a peaceful manner
» Not that I know of.

93. Abseil down something big
» Nope.

94. Make an arch-enemy
» Haven’t really tried – possibly a good thing.

95. Visit Times Sqaure on New Year’s Eve
» No.

96. Learn to play the Harmonica
» Don’t know why I wanted to do that!

97. Stay at a Disney theme park over Christmas
» Nope.

98. Go to the Olympics
» Didn’t go, but did watch them on the box.

99. ‘Astonish the World’
» It’s not really for me to say…

So the progress so far is not exactly stunning. Will I be any further along by this time next year? Doubt it, but we’ll see.

I’m not sure quite why Tony Carter was searching the new Google Local UK for ‘brothels’ and ‘Maidstone’. But the results seem quite surprising:

you get just one hit – Kent County Constabulary. Complete with map and everything.

But who knows, maybe the police are branching out? 😉

I think that this site probably requires a very specific kind of sense of humour. But if, like me, you’ve got it, you’ll love it. So take a look.

As Anonymous has pointed out, today is my birthday. I’m not entirely sure what you’d like me to post in celebration of this auspicious occasion, so I’ll just point back to last year’s post, complete with broken Chipmunks link and moaning about being ill. That’s a bit depressing, isn’t it, especially when I’m feeling cheery.

MSNBC’s Jeff Jarvis is linking to me as an example of a ‘British blog’ sticking up for Prince Charles. I love the idea of some American saying ‘British blog’ in that slighly perjorative way Americans talk about anything British. I’d try and type what I mean fone-etical-ee, but I don’t think I’d get very far. So if you get what I mean, you’re on the same wavelength as me, and should be very worried for your sanity. Just a shame he didn’t avail himself of the trackback facilities.

The President has kindly recorded a tour of the Oval Office for the White House website. I don’t think it was intentional, but it had me in stitches inside thirty seconds: “The windows… er… ah… are magnificent… er… er… they… ah… erm… let in the sunlight”.

Priceless.

A couple of weeks ago, I provided you with a reason for Americans to feel smug. By which I meant citizens of the USA, not everyone from the North and South American continents, but I’m not going to stop using that shorthand, so please don’t complain.

Now, however, I’ve found definitive proof that being an American isn’t so good, simply because you have to put up with sickening patriotism. There are so many things ideologically wrong with that video that I don’t even want to start down that path. But what amused me was the statement on the website:

America We Stand As One and Dennis Madalone did not authorize or assist in the production, creation, or concept behind alternative “spoof” videos of America We Stand As One.

The whole thing looks like one big spoof. It’s embarrassing to watch. And, more than that, it’s just bad. It almost makes me feel sorry for them. Almost.

I’ve just spent the last twenty minutes or so with Ian’s Shoelace Site, relearning how to tie my shoelaces with the Ian Knot and Ian Secure Knot. And, believe it or not, I actually think it was time well spent. So thank you, Ian, for making such an interesting site, and teaching me the world’s fastest shoelace knot.