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The tragic death of Rose Tombe


Hold up! Before you read on, please read this...

This post was published more than 13 years ago

I keep old posts on the site because I often enjoy reading old content on other people's sites. It can be interesting to see how views have changed over time: for example, how my strident teenage views have, to put it mildly, mellowed.

I'm not a believer in brushing the past under the carpet. I've written some offensive rubbish on here in the past: deleting it and pretending it never happened doesn't change that. I hope that stumbling across something that's 13 years old won't offend anyone anew, because I hope that people can understand that what I thought and felt and wrote about then is probably very different to what I think and feel and write about now. It's a relic of an (albeit recent) bygone era.

So, given the age of this post, please bear in mind:

  • My views may well have changed in the last 13 years. I have written some very silly things over the years, many of which I find utterly cringeworthy today.
  • This post might use words or language in ways which I would now consider highly inappropriate, offensive, embarrassing, or all three.
  • Factual information might be outdated.
  • Links might be broken, and embedded material might not appear properly.

Okay. Consider yourself duly warned. Read on...

Mr Tombe, in mourningToday, I’ve received news of the sad passing of Rose Tombe of Juba, Sudan.

After a quiet start to life, Rose shot to fame early in 2006 when she married Charles Tombe, who loved her so much that he was willing to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dollars to secure her hand in marriage. The news of the wedding was marred by the revelation that the happy couple had been caught by Mr Alifi, Rose’s carer, having sex before their marriage, which had resulted in Mr Alifi becoming unnecessarily aggressive and tying poor Charles up for the night.

You see, Mr Tombe and Rose were truly star-crossed lovers. For some, they were just to ‘different’ to have a true, loving relationship. Some even suggested that Charles was just playing along for the sex. But luckily, Mr Alifi soon came to his senses, and allowed the marriage to go ahead.

The couple had a bright future together, but things hit the rocks a little towards the end of last year, when Rose became pregnant. Whilst the paternity has not been formally determined, it is noticeable that the offspring bears little resemblance to Mr Tombe, but has a distinct likeness to some of Mrs Tombe’s former boyfriends.

After much soul-searching, the couple were able to work through their problems, and share in an open relationship considered radical in their Sudanese home. However, Rose tragically died earlier this week, after choking on a plastic bag.

Tributes have been pouring in from across the world, and Rose’s closest friends and family turned out to pay their last respects at the funeral. But perhaps the most moving tribute came from the late Mrs Rose’s son:

Naa naaaaa. Naaaaaaaaaaaa naaaa naa na. Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

A fitting tribute to a truly special goat.

This 1,114th post was filed under: News and Comment.

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Comments and responses

Comment from Mort Karman

    16.30, 04/05/2007

So he was married to a goat? My first wife was a witch. She divorced me because i could not spel.

Comment from sjhoward (author of the post)

    23.26, 04/05/2007

He was indeed married to a goat. The goat may also have been a witch. How does one tell?

Comment from Mort Karman

    02.30, 05/05/2007

My ex wife, Billie Joyce was not at all as nice as Mr Toombe’s wife. Also his goat was better looking and HAD to be a better lover.

Comment from Mort Karman

    03.38, 05/05/2007

I suppose to be fair I should say something nice about Billy Joyce vs. Billy Goat-Billy Joyce gave me two fine children -Lori is a Psychologist and Todd is in med school (thank God in USA not UK) If I had married Billy Goat instead of Billy Joyce-Todd might not be an MD-He might be a vet. I don’t know how to tell if the other goat is a witch and I don’t know anyone here who does. Perhaps if I lived in Salem, Mass. instead of Shepherd, MI.They have a history there of flushing out witches. It is a burning thing with them.

Comment from sjhoward (author of the post)

    11.51, 05/05/2007

Shouldn’t we have thrown it in a river to see if it floats, or something? 😉

Comment from Mort Karman

    19.05, 07/05/2007

I forgot to tell you-I never was married to a goat-but wife #3 was Babe, a pig in the city (honest-she really was!!)If you recall the Babe movies-the Babe I was married to briefly (very briefly) even snorted and when she was on her stomach on the grass and got up on all four (hands and feet) to crawl around she even resembled the movie star. The nephews even insisted she was the Babe in the movie. But the Babe I married did not want to be a sheep dog. She is remembered every time I eat bacon and eggs.
Perhaps one day I will tell you the tale of wife #2.
Wife #4 is current and proves if you keep trying you get it right. We have been married almost ten years and it just gets better. Besides, no one else would have put up with me this long.

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