As Mickey Mouse’s animated doggy friend, he entertained generations of children. But in a scandalous move, Disney have now demoted him from being a classically planet-sized celebrity – with his own shows and lines of clothing – to a minor dwarf, taking Snow White’s total to eight.

It’s pure speculation, but this could have something to do with the circulating rumours that he and Mickey have never buried the hatchet since the 1930s incident dramatised in ‘Chain Gang’ where Pluto chased Mickey, when the latter escaped from prison. He then became Minnie’s pet, before becoming Mickey’s own pet some years later.

Pluto has also had short spells in the care of Donald Duck, but it would appear that even this friend refused to take him back on this occasion, leaving him to become one of the dwarves in the care of Snow White. The reason for rejection by his closest friends is clouded in mystery, but could be due to repeated sexual indiscretion, drug addiction, or alcoholism: Rumours of all three have been circulating in media circles for decades, largely thanks to his surprising and unexpected absence from Mickey’s Christmas Carol in 1983.

Due to a difficult childhood, Pluto has been mute throughout his adult life, unlike his fair-weather friend Goofy. It’s thought that this latest rejection won’t help heal the psychological scars left from his early years.

Pluto’s son, Pluto Junior, and brother, KB, are not thought to be joining the ranks of the dwarves at the present time.

Oh, and there’s something about a planet not being a planet in the news, too. Don’t know what all that’s about.

This morning, I phoned ICM Computers (they failed to phone me), and was told that an engineer would probably not be coming out because the parts still hadn’t arrived from HP, but that they might arrive later on so they’d let me know. It looked like it was going to be another of ‘those’ days.

Then I decided to take matters into my own hands, and faxed every regional office of HP with the URI of this HP Support Blog. Suddenly, two people were on the phone, one on the landline and one on the mobile, with endless apologies and offers of help. Funny, that.

Both of these previously undiscovered HP people couldn’t have been more helpful, and both rang me back within half an hour telling me they were chasing up the case on my behalf. I then got calls both directly from HP and from ICM computers saying that the parts had ‘been passed on’ and that someone would be at my door at 11am tomorrow to finally fix the problem.

It’s nice to see that HP can actually operate effeciently – it’s just a shame it took this much to get there. I’ll let you know the results of tomorrow’s visit.

We’re one week into my Next Day HP Support call now. Yesterday, when my friendly engineer, left, he told me I’d be called this morning with an estimated time for him to come out and see me. I didn’t receive a call.

So lunchtime came, and I called them. The lovely person at the end of the phone said (after a considerable time on hold) that I would receive a call a little later.

At this point, I decide to inspect this HP approved engineer’s handiwork. Here’s what I found:

Yes, not only does my latop no longer start up, it’s also physically damaged.

At 4pm, I decide to call HP’s repair company again. I’m told that the parts aren’t in and an engineer won’t be coming out today. I’ve sat in all day waiting for nothing.

So, one week on, here’s where we are: HP have charged me over £100 for Next Day service which, one week later, has reduced a laptop that worked perfectly well with an external screen into a machine that is physically damaged and won’t start up. Thanks.

Just in case you think I’m being unreasonable about HP, you might want to do some further reading…

Maybe try this, this, or this.

Or maybe this.

Or this.

Or maybe this, this, or this.

Or this.

Or the story of someone who spent seven hours on the phone. To HP, of course.

Basically, they’re terrible, and I’m not the only one who thinks so.

Last week, I had reason to place a technical support call to HP. I’ve been blogging the ensuing experience, but due to the response to my last customer service post, I’ve been somewhat reluctant to publish. However, this has now reached the stage where I feel I should share my experiences.

I’ve created a special section of the site collecting the posts from this event together, and you can find that here. The first post, which explains all of the background to this experience, is here. And if you want to follow the story as it develops, there’s a dedicated RSS feed here.

I do hope you enjoy the experience more than me.

The technician did arrive this morning, as promised, with a replacement system board from the lovely people at HP. This was a good thing.

He spent the next two hours fitting my shiny new system board. Guess what? It didn’t work. The engineer very apologetically explained that the board sent by the lovely people at HP Support worked very well with my shiny new screen, but not with any of the other components in my laptop. So it had a nicely working screen, but wouldn’t start up.

He said he’d get in touch with HP Support and get them to send a new new system board, and a new hard drive (to replace the one that I had replaced a couple of months ago), “just in case” that was causing a problem.

He’s coming back tomorrow. So, as of tomorrow, my £138.65 next-working-day post-warranty support package has taken a minimum of five working days to actually produce a working laptop. That’s if tomorrow’s fix actually works, which would be a first. And, of course, this is all to fix a fault that occured during the warranty period.

Great service, only from HP.

ICM Computers didn’t call me this morning, so I called them. They helpfully told me that they had no idea when the technician would be calling to fix my still-broken laptop.

At lunchtime, my friendly technician called to say that he wanted to come in the early afternoon. What with me actually having a life and things to do, that wasn’t really convenient. I’d tried to tell ICM Computers that in the morning, but they didn’t want to know.

He says he’ll come tomorrow morning. I can’t wait.

Whaddya think? Don’t worry, it’s never going to happen.

Courtesy of Web2.0V2LogoCreatr

It’s the story we never hear in the media. 75% of 18-year-olds have just failed to get three passes (grade E or above) at A-Level. Popular opinion, mainly thanks to the media, has it (in a survery I can’t find again to link to) that over 80% of 18-year-olds reach this standard. Bollocks. The vast, vast majority of the young people in our country don’t even attempt A-Levels, let alone pass them.

Let’s talk, me and you, about one of the most respected, classical subjects at A-Level: History. Of the 375,000 18-year-olds in the country, the top 13% sat an A-Level in the subject. Frankly, these days, that’s an acheivement. Schools no longer enter people they don’t think will do well, because it damages their league table results and ultimately affects funding, which is why 87% of the population don’t get to take it. So it is fair to say that the 13% of youngsters sitting the History A-Level are the top historians of their age in the land. Well done.

10.9% of the 18-year-olds in this country passed that A-Level. We’ve weeded out 89.1% of the population – hundreds of thousands of people – without even looking at grades. But if we choose to look at that top ‘A’ grade, we find that just 2% of the population managed to achieve it. 98% didn’t.

In chemistry, only 9% of the population passed, with under 2% acheiving the top grade. For maths, the top 13% were entered, and the top 3% got A’s. And for the much lamented media studies, 7% were entered and just 1.5% got A’s.

People say that A-Levels are easy, worthless, and don’t discriminate anymore. Yet the vast majority don’t pass them, and our example shows that very few reach the top grades. How much more discriminating would you like them to be?

I’ve just changed the provider for the site merchandise. This is good news, as it means I have a whole new range for you to browse – and it’s much better than the old one (just so long as you’re a fan of navy blue…)! There are more products than before, the prices start lower than before (from just £6.99!), delivery is cheaper, and orders should arrive much faster. And, on top of all that, you can now view all of the products right here on the site, on the new merchandise page.

Now there really is no excuse not to support your favourite blog by snapping up some great products at improved prices. No, fashion is not an excuse (but if you prefer, you can always donate…).

ICM Computers called this morning to say that they were very sorry, but the new new screen hadn’t arrived, so they’d have to leave it until Monday before coming out to fit it.

Then, at lunchtime, my friendly ICM Computers technician, turned up. Good job I was in. Once again, he’s fitted a replacement screen to my laptop. Thanks!

When he left, my laptop screen was working perfectly, and I began to have a little faith in the system. Then, five minutes later, it broke again, and we were back to square one. In fact, the fault was a little worse this time round.

So I called ICM Computers, no more than fifteen minutes after the guy left my house. No good. They tell me that the support request has been closed by HP, and if I want further repairs, I’ll have to contact them. Well, no, I don’t so much want further repairs as wanting the original problem fixed. So I’ve spent another half hour in another queue to another HP call centre in India. This time, without even setting eyes on the machine, the all-knowing call centre operative declares that it is the system board at fault, and a friendly technician will come to fix it on Monday.

We’ll see.